Getting into a happy, healthy power exchange relationship doesn’t happen without a lot of communication, vulnerability, trust, and willingness to take a leap of faith with your partner. Some kinksters will start their D/s journey with someone from the beginning – whether you met on Fetlife, at a munch, or on a dating app. Others will have been in a vanilla relationship and decide to transition to power exchange.
Either way, there’s a lot to learn: about kink, about your partner, and about yourself. We’ve compiled things we’ve previously shared about D/s relationships to help you navigate your own power exchange with a bit of extra help.
Starting Your Power Exchange
A power exchange relationship has to start somewhere, whether you’re a newbie kinkster or you’re getting back into a new D/s relationship after a break. Here are some things that can help.
What Style of D/s Relationship Do You Want?
What You Should Expect from D/s Relationships
Being “Picky” About Your Partners
4 Things D/s Won’t Magically Fix in Your Relationship (this one is for anyone transition from vanilla to D/s)
5 Fears You May Feel in a New D/s Relationship
You Can’t Make Your Partner Be a Dominant or Submissive
4 Things About 24/7 D/s You May Not Know
How Do We Transition From a Vanilla Relationship to 24/7 D/s?
Tips to Help You Talk to Your Partner About Kink
Why Patience is Important in D/s
Compatibility in D/s Relationships
Being Friends First in D/s Relationships
6 Things to Include in a BDSM Contract
Negotiation Tips for D/s and Kink
Things to Say in Your D/s Relationship
Figuring Out What to Do in Your Power Exchange
Maintaining Your Power Exchange
Once you’ve negotiated your D/s relationship, you have to maintain that relationship – while also figuring out what works and what doesn’t work. Below is a list that touches on the things we feel are necessary for a successful power exchange that don’t get a lot of attention. These aren’t the kinky, sexy things you might do. It’s not about a scene you plan or the kinks you’re into. It’s about how you relate to one another.
5 Ways Insecurities Impact Power Exchange Relationships
How to Start Communicating Again and Reset Your D/s Relationship
Building Each Other Up in D/s Relationships
Things That Still Happen in Solid D/s Relationships
The Art of Subtle Dominance and Submission
Holding Each Other Accountable in D/s
Compromise in D/s Relationships
Boring Ruts and Routines in Power Exchange
What to Do When “Real Life” Interferes
Vulnerability and Power Exchange
We hope you never have to break up in a D/s relationship…but we also hope you never stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve you. Sometimes we miss red flags or don’t see shitty behavior for what it is. And sometimes, you grow apart or discover you’re not compatible. It’s much better to be alone and find a happy, healthy power exchange relationship than it is to stay in a D/s relationship that doesn’t fulfill you.
Here are some things to keep in mind, pre or post-breakup.
How to Walk Away from a D/s Relationship
4 Questions to Ask When You’re Struggling in Your Power Exchange
How to Know When It’s Time to Breakup
Ideas for Self Care After a D/s Relationship Ends
What to Do When Your D/s Relationship Ends
Long Distance D/s Relationships
We started out in a long distance relationship (LDR) and maintained it for 18 months before moving in together. For those navigating power exchange from a distance, here are some things we think may help.
Non-Sexual Things You Can Do in Your Long Distance Power Exchange
Tips to Keep Your Long Distance D/s Going Between Visits
4 Ways We Maintain Our D/s When Apart
Taking Care of Each Other When You’re Apart
How We Enjoyed Phone Sex When We Were LDR
The Beginning of Our Long Distance D/s Part 1 (Our story)
Navigating Our LDR Part 2 (Our story)
Transitioning from Long Distance D/s to In Person D/s (Our story)
Parenting in a D/s Relationship
One of the most common questions we get is, “Can you have kids and a D/s relationship?” And the answer is absolutely! As with all things about parenting and children, it won’t always be easy, and it won’t necessarily fit the fantasy or picture you have in your head. But it can be done.
Being a Parent in a D/s Relationship
Tips for Balancing Kink and Parenting
Raising Sex Positive, Kink Friendly Kids
How to Handle Multiple Roles as a Submissive
Want more help on navigating your power exchange? Use this link to check out all the things we’ve said or written about D/s relationships. If you’re in the negotiation process of figuring out your first or latest power exchange, check out our 30 Days of D/s workbook. It provides 30 prompts and conversation starters to help you figure out what kind of power exchange relationship you’d like to have.
And if you’re past the negotiation stage and are living your best D/s life but know your power exchange could use some help, check out 30 Days of D/s Volume 2! You don’t have to do the first workbook to see results with volume 2.