Getting into a happy, healthy power exchange relationship doesn’t happen without a lot of communication, vulnerability, trust, and willingness to take a leap of faith with your partner. Some kinksters will start their D/s journey with someone from the beginning – whether you met on Fetlife, at a munch, or on a dating app. Others will have been in a vanilla relationship and decide to transition to power exchange.
Either way, there’s a lot to learn: about kink, about your partner, and about yourself. We’ve compiled things we’ve previously shared about D/s relationships to help you navigate your own power exchange with a bit of extra help.
Starting Your Power Exchange
A power exchange relationship has to start somewhere, whether you’re a newbie kinkster or you’re getting back into a new D/s relationship after a break. Here are some things that can help.
4 Things D/s Won’t Magically Fix in Your Relationship (this one is for anyone transition from vanilla to D/s)
Maintaining Your Power Exchange
Once you’ve negotiated your D/s relationship, you have to maintain that relationship – while also figuring out what works and what doesn’t work. Below is a list that touches on the things we feel are necessary for a successful power exchange that don’t get a lot of attention. These aren’t the kinky, sexy things you might do. It’s not about a scene you plan or the kinks you’re into. It’s about how you relate to one another.
We hope you never have to break up in a D/s relationship…but we also hope you never stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve you. Sometimes we miss red flags or don’t see shitty behavior for what it is. And sometimes, you grow apart or discover you’re not compatible. It’s much better to be alone and find a happy, healthy power exchange relationship than it is to stay in a D/s relationship that doesn’t fulfill you.
Here are some things to keep in mind, pre or post-breakup.
Long Distance D/s Relationships
We started out in a long distance relationship (LDR) and maintained it for 18 months before moving in together. For those navigating power exchange from a distance, here are some things we think may help.
The Beginning of Our Long Distance D/s Part 1 (Our story)
Navigating Our LDR Part 2 (Our story)
Parenting in a D/s Relationship
One of the most common questions we get is, “Can you have kids and a D/s relationship?” And the answer is absolutely! As with all things about parenting and children, it won’t always be easy, and it won’t necessarily fit the fantasy or picture you have in your head. But it can be done.
Want more help on navigating your power exchange? Use this link to check out all the things we’ve said or written about D/s relationships. If you’re in the negotiation process of figuring out your first or latest power exchange, check out our 30 Days of D/s workbook. It provides 30 prompts and conversation starters to help you figure out what kind of power exchange relationship you’d like to have.
And if you’re past the negotiation stage and are living your best D/s life but know your power exchange could use some help, check out 30 Days of D/s Volume 2! You don’t have to do the first workbook to see results with volume 2.