5 Fears You May Feel in a New D/s Relationship

3 Responses

  1. julie knispel says:

    all of the above resonates strongly with me, because so much of it i’ve experienced this year personally. being in a new (two and a piece months now) relationship with someone i’d known for over a year after my last one ended now so much with a bang but a whimper, i carried in a lot of emotional damage and baggage. i was lucky in that my new partner/Domme was there for the end of my previous, so It knew what i was bringing with me, and was ready and willing to help me through it. but i still have fears that i’m too much, or not enough. that i don’t express my appreciation and love enough, or that i overbear. it’s so hard to have to face these things, especially as the fears of ruining things, of abandonment, are as much a product of other emotional issues i’m having to face as they are of that.

    i know i’m lucky…and it’s hard to balance the things i know to be true with what my brain tells me.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Many, many, MANY of those things take time, a lot of communication, and the help of a partner that’s willing to show you they’re not like a previous partner. It’s very difficult and sometimes (for some people) professional help with a therapist can make a difference, too. Keeping the lines of communication open will go a long way in that healing process, especially if your partner is the patient type who will give you both the space you need — AND push you from time to time. You’re definitely not alone in this one. It happens to so many of us, unfortunately.

      • julie knispel says:

        oh for sure. i’m back in therapy and i know that’s going to help. and W/we talk all the time, and my Domme is aware of what i have going on going into the relationship/exchange. W/we work through things a lot, but i also have rough bouts of Bad Syndrome and it takes a bit more fighting to keep on the level. and i’m lucky that Goddess is just like how you describe…understanding and patient, but also willing to give me a push when i need it.

        this was a super article, and i’m so glad you wrote it <3

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