Stuff We Love

We use a lot of products in our kinky fuckery, to run the Loving BDSM website podcast, and as two people living and loving the BDSM life. So we thought it would be handy to put them all in one list. Everything here is something we’ve tried or experienced personally. Some links will be affiliate links. If you click the link and make a purchase, we make a small commission. You don’t pay any more than usual (sometimes you pay less), and you help support the blog, podcast, and our coffee addiction.


Obviously we love our BDSM toys, especially spanking and bondage gear. Some of our favorite toys are random things we’ve found at shops, clubs, or around the house. But some items are things we’ve received or bought from very different shops online. Here are the ones we love the most.

The Kinkery — Okay, so it’s our store, but we definitely think it’s a great place to get weapons of ass destruction.

Liebe Seele — Japanase bondage gear company; use code KAYLALORDS to save 5 perfent

The Stockroom — Great for high-quality BDSM gear and sex toys; use code LOVINGBDSM to save 15 percent off

Elegantly Owned — Gorgeous BDSM collars in multiple styles and colors!

ElectraStim — ElectraStim makes some of our favorite electroplay gear.

Kink Positive Designs — Ignixia is a great kink educator and designer. We get a LOT of t-shirts from her shop; use code LOVINGDS for 15 percent off

My Nawashi — Bondage rope

Bear-Things — Cuffs, collars, and other leather pieces

Kink Crate — Subscription service filled with different kink toys every month!

Kinky Cloth — Clothing, toys, and other kinky gear that’s fun and light-hearted with a Caregiver/little twist; use code KINKYKAYLA to save 25 percent

Oxyd Creations — Sustainable BDSM gear including collars, cuffs, harnesses, and more made from recycled bicycle rubber

Kink Resources

BDSM Contracts — Easy-to-use template for your BDSM contracts, available in multiple formats; use code LOVINGBDSM to save 20 percent

Dom Sub Living — Online training classes for Doms and subs in power exchange relationships

DDLG 101 with Baby Linh — Baby Linh is an excellent kink educator

Submissive Guide — A comprehensive site to help submissives navigate their submission and their power exchange relationship

Kink Academy — An online BDSM training site that teaches a variety of skills and concepts in kink

Sex Toys Retailers/Brands

We’ve been fortunate to get to try all kinds of sex toys over the past several years. Not everything makes our list of favorites, though. Some are average, and some are terrible. These are toys and/or the companies that we absolutely love — that aren’t already listed under BDSM gear!

Hot Octopuss — We love everything they make including the Atom Plus Lux to the Digit finger vibrator; use code KAYLA10 to save 10 percent off, thru December 31, 2021

Godemiche — They make amazing dildos and masturbators. JB’s favorite is the Offbeat!

She-Vibe — We’ve purchased a couple of toys from She-Vibe and love the service.

We-Vibe Chorus — All We-Vibe toys are great, but the Chorus is one of our favorite toys to use together during penetrative sex.


You can find a few books we recommend for people who want to learn more about BDSM on our resources page. Here we’ve listed books that we enjoyed whether as an educational resource or just because it was erotic and entertaining. And as you can see…we’re definitely readers.

Tongue-Tied by Stella Harris | Amazon | Bookshop

Kinktionary by Ignixia Roberts | Amazon | Website

The New Topping Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton | Amazon | Bookshop

The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton | Amazon | Bookshop

The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino | Amazon | Bookshop

Playing Well with Others by Lee Harringon and Mollena Williams | Amazon | Bookshop

Somatics for Rope Bottoms by Natasha Nawataneko | Amazon

Pain Play for Everyone by Luna Carruthers | Amazon | Website

BDSM Journal by Mona Darling • Check out our review

How to Be a Happy and Healthy Submissive by Kate Kinsey

When Someone You Love is Kinky by Dossie Easton

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes

Shibari You Can Use and More Shibari You Can Use by Lee Harrington


The best porn isn’t the stuff you find for free on PornHub or other tube sites. It’s the stuff that’s made with heart and with consent, sex positivity, inclusivity, and diversity.


Dreams of Spanking

Erotic Films

Website Stuff

It takes a lot to run a podcast and website. Here are some of the things we use because they work well and we love them.

Blubrry Podcast Hosting — use code KaylaLords and get one month free

Canva — for graphic creations

Audio-Technica Microphone

Will this list change and grow over time? Absolutely! We love discovering new sexy, kinky, interesting, useful, and fun things, and we definitely love sharing them with you.