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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 307 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Getting Back Into a Groove

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack…and we’re trying to get back into a groove, both for the podcast and in our D/s relationship. This week’s episode is more like a giant bonus section with updates about where we’ve...

minisode 55 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Minisode 55: Beyond Subspace

Subspace is just one experience submissives can have during a kink scene. As we’ve discussed before, subspace isn’t a guarantee for every scene, and some people may never even get there. So let’s talk...

episode 305 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Response

We’re back with another response (reaction?) to questions asked over on the BDSM side of Reddit. In this episode: This week’s episode is sponsored by Beducated. Answering questions on BDSM reddit. Thanks to our...

consent in D/s relationships minisode 54 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Minisode 54: Consent in Power Exchange

This week, we’re sharing the audio version of a video we made recently on a few things to remember about consent in your power exchange relationship. Most (all?) of it will be familiar because...

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