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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 323 of the Loving BDSM podcast reacting the BDSM reddit questions

BDSM Reddit Reaction

This week, we’re reacting (or responding) to the BDSM questions asked on Reddit! In this episode: Live Stream/Virtual Munch this Friday, September 16! We’re taking next week off. Reacting/responding to BDSM questions from Reddit...

episode 322 of the Loving BDSM podcast


This week, we answered listener questions about a variety of topics: masochism, kinky bucket lists, non-monogamy, and more! In this episode: Our first scene experience Where are all the middles? How do we deal...

episode 321 of the Loving BDSM podcast on voice kinks

Voice Kinks

This week, let’s talk about voice kinks: what are they and do we have any? In this episode: Defining voice kinks What we like about voices Do we have a voice kink? Thanks to...

episode 320 of the Loving BDSM podcast, talking about how to submit when you're angry at your Dominant

Submitting While Angry or Upset

This week, we’re talking about anger, upset, and other negative feelings specifically in terms of submission. How do you submit when you’re angry at your Dom? The answer is…it depends. In this episode: Want...

episode 319 of the Loving BDSM podcast where we check in with each other on our D/s relationship

Checking in on Our D/s Relationship

This week, we get personal — more than usual — and have a formal check-in of our D/s relationship. We tend to do this on a frequent and casual basis, bringing up concerns or...

episode 318 of the Loving BDSM podcast on service tops

What is a Service Top?

In this week’s podcast, we discuss the term “service top” — and there are a lot of ways to define it! In this episode: Multiple definitions of service top What it means to us...

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