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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

image of dark room with yellow warning light bulb; text says Signs of Subfrenzy 30 Days of D/s

5 Signs You’re in Subfrenzy | 30 Days of D/s

We’ve talked a LOT about subfrenzy around here. For good reason: when in the throes of it, submissives can put themselves in dangerous situations or misread reality. Sometimes it’s harmless, and a submissive is...

episode 282 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Kinksters React to Vanilla Relationship Reddit

Consider this another experiment. We enjoy doing the BDSM Reddit reactions, but we wondered what it would be like to react to vanilla relationship questions from Reddit. Spoiler alert: there’s no major change in...

image of hand clutching white sheets in orgasmic pleasure with text that says Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms

Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms

Disclosure: Affiliate links are included throughout this post. That means if you click a link and make a purchase, we make a small commission. This helps us continue to make content and also fuels...

Loving BDSM mini podcast episode 33 on face slapping

Minisode 33: Face Slapping

In this week’s minisode, we’re discussing a favorite kink of ours: face slapping! If you’re new to it and want to explore with a partner, these are a few quick tips to keep in...

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