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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 350 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM in the News

We’re trying something new, and it’s based off of our weekly newsletter. Each week, we include a section called BDSM in the News and share articles Kayla finds about BDSM and kink. Some are...

episode 349 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Procrastination in Power Exchange

Procrastination shows up in so many parts of our lives. Does that include our D/s relationships and kinky fuckery? Let’s talk about it! In this episode: Check out the kink resources we recommend including...

episode 347 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Response

We’re back with another BDSM Reddit response episode! Thanks to silentwinged who sent us a few questions to look at plus we found a couple on our own. One had Kayla’s blood boiling and...

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