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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 262 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Positive Reinforcement

How have we gone so long without a dedicated episode on positive reinforcement in D/s? We don’t know either, but here we are! This week, we talk about it within our own relationship, how...

image of stack of stones being held up with a feather as a sign of control and power. Title says What is Dominance 30 Days of D/s

What is Dominance? | 30 Days of D/s

Note: Welcome to a new blog series based off our free 30 Days of D/s email course. The program asks you to think about different topics within kink and BDSM with a new email...

episode 261 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Leadership Styles and Power Exchange

This week we’re perverting yet another vanilla concept — this time, business leadership styles and how they relate back to power exchange relationships. Some have direct correlations to obvious D/s dynamics, others are more...

episode 260 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Q&A | March 2021

Instead of throwing in a Q&A episode when we run out of topics, we’re actually planning them this year — one every few months! The best way to ask questions is to follow us...

episode 259 of the Loving BDSM podcast


This week’s episode is a bit of a rant based on things we’ve seen in the online kink community. Every time the issues come up, we (I) think, “Please have a sense of self-preservation!”...

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