About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

question and answer episode of the Loving BDSM podcast

Q&A: Is Our 24/7 TPE Hopeless?

A submissive has been in and wants to remain in a 24/7 TPE but wonders if it’s hopeless now that their Dom isn’t communicating. Here’s the question: I am 78, and my Dom is...

episode 469 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing friendship in long term power exchange relationships

Friendship in Long Term Power Exchange

WE’ve said for years that we think friendship needs to be the basis of any power exchange but certainly a long-term relationship. This week we’re talking about why it matters and how to build...

episode 468 of the Loving BDSM podcast on self control and power in dominance

Self Control and Power in Dominance

This week’s topic comes from both a question we received and questions we’ve seen asked on Reddit: newer Doms worried they’ll lose control of themselves and try to dominate people in other parts of...

question and answer episode of the Loving BDSM podcast

Q&A: Were They Right to Be Angry?

This week, a kinkster asked their exes to remove intimate pictures from Fetlife, and those exes got angry about the situation. This kinkster wonders if their anger was fair or reasonable. Here’s the question:...