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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 342 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Figuring Out Your Kinky Self

In this week’s episode, we’re taking a question we received in a previous Q&A and expanding it to a full conversation. The question: How do I figure out my kink style and identity? These...

episode 341 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Sensation Play

We’ve discussed aspects of sensation play – pain, wax, electroplay – many times in the past, but we’ve never discussed the broader topic of sensation play. Until now! Is this fully comprehensive? Of course...

episode 339 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Response

We needed an easy one this week – as we’re both still recovering from being sick – so we went with a response to questions asked on the BDSM side of Reddit. In this...

episode 338 of the Loving BDSM podcast

How We’ve Evolved in BDSM and D/s

This week’s episode is similar to other episodes in the archive but with a twist. Yes, we’re talking about what we’ve learned over the years but with a focus on how we’ve changed and,...

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