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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 338 of the Loving BDSM podcast

How We’ve Evolved in BDSM and D/s

This week’s episode is similar to other episodes in the archive but with a twist. Yes, we’re talking about what we’ve learned over the years but with a focus on how we’ve changed and,...

episode 337 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Bonus Section Episode

JB said he wanted to stream/record but that, and he wasn’t “firing on all cylinders.” So we turned this week’s into a big (to us) announcement and a bonus section episode. In this episode:...

episode 336 of the Loving BDSM podcast on division of labor in D/s relationships when you live together

Division of Labor in Power Exchange

We’ve teased this topic over the past several weeks, and we’re finally getting to it – the division of labor in your home and family while you also try to live your best D/s...

episode 335 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Our 2023 Plans and Goals

It’s the first episode of 2023 so we’re sharing our personal and professional goals and plans for the year! This episode actually focuses more on the personal side – both as individuals and our...

episode 334 of the Loving BDSM podcast which is a BDSM reddit response

BDSM Reddit Response

For this last episode before we take a couple of weeks off, we’re responding to questions and situations shared on the BDSM side of Reddit. And yes, there are rants in this one. In...

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