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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

impact play tips minisode 43 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Minisode 43: Impact Play Tips for Newbies

New to impact play? Just starting to explore spankings and beyond? Here are a few tips to keep in mind! A massive thanks to our Patreon community for making these shorter episodes possible! Links...

episode 293 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Good Doms | Revisiting Episode 3

In our third episode, Kayla shared a some characteristics on what makes someone a good Dominant. We revamped the list, slightly, for a YouTube video in 2021. But we’ve never really had the conversation...

episode 292 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Responding to BDSM Reddit…Again

We have a lot of fun with these BDSM Reddit episodes, and if you enjoy Kayla-Rants™, you probably do, too. This week, we talk about toxic behavior, unionizing submissives, and more! In this episode:...

drop minisode 41 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Minisode 41: Drop

Whether it’s sub drop or top drop, it can happen to anyone. Here are a few things to keep in if you find yourself going through it. A massive thanks to our Patreon community...

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