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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 383 of the Loving BDSM podcast

The State of Our Power Exchange

Think of this like a “state of the union” but for a D/s relationship – specifically ours. In this episode: One week left of our Patreon membership drive! Thanks to Beducated for sponsoring this...

Q&A episode

Q&A: Is Anger Part of Dominance?

In this week’s question, a kinkster wants to explore their Dominant side and wonders if they can use that to work through their anger. Here’s the question: I’m a submissive but I may be...

episode 382 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Age Gaps in Power Exchange

We’ve talked about age differences in D/s relationships before, but this time, let’s discuss the perception/belief that “all” age gaps are bad or predatory, and why we (mostly) disagree. In this episode: Sales at...

episode 381 of the Loving BDSM podcast

How We Show Up in Our D/s Relationship

This week’s episode was inspired by a conversation we recently had about how we behave and act as Dom and sub and how that doesn’t always match the way we’d like to behave and...

2024 Patreon Membership Drive

A Commercial Break Ramble

There’s no episode this week because JB got sick and needed to rest. As of the day this commercial-like episode goes live, he’s feeling a bit better and is moving around a bit. Normally...