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About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 333 of the Loving BDSM podcast is a BDSM Q&A episode

BDSM Q&A

We asked for your questions over at that handle we fucking hate on Instagram, and y’all delivered! We got so many we couldn’t answer them all! If you have BDSM-related questions for us, we...

episode 332 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing what we've learned after 10 years in a D/s relationship

What We’ve Learned After a Decade Together

Ten years ago from the time we recorded this week’s episode, we were “meeting” each other through blog comments. On December 23, it will be ten years since our first conversation. Next year, we’ll...

episode 331 of the Loving BDSM podcast, the annual favorite sex toys of year episode

Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2022

It’s that time of year again — time to talk about the sex toys we’ve loved this year, plus some Black Friday sales and specials. Because no one should pay full price for fuckery,...

episode 330 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing research on the difference between being kinky and doing kink

Research on Kink Behavior vs. Kink Identity

This week is a bit different but something we’ve wanted to do a while. Our dear friend, Professor Sex, finished their thesis several months ago and generously allowed us to discuss their work on...

episode 328 of the Loving BDSM podcast answering sex-related questions

Answering Spicy Questions

Spoiler: This episode is about sex, and it’s a TMI episode about the two of us, our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and more. If that’s more than you want to hear, feel free to skip...

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