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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 346 of the Loving BDSM podcast


We’re back with a Q&A episode! We asked for questions over on that handle Kayla fucking hates on Instagram and then took questions from the YouTube live stream. In this episode: Join us on...

episode 345 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Our Experience with D/s and Depression

This week, things get a bit heavy as we discuss our (ongoing) experiences with depression as a Dom and sub in a power exchange relationship. We don’t get into too many details but if...

episode 342 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Figuring Out Your Kinky Self

In this week’s episode, we’re taking a question we received in a previous Q&A and expanding it to a full conversation. The question: How do I figure out my kink style and identity? These...

episode 341 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Sensation Play

We’ve discussed aspects of sensation play – pain, wax, electroplay – many times in the past, but we’ve never discussed the broader topic of sensation play. Until now! Is this fully comprehensive? Of course...

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