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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 304 of the Loving BDSM podcast


This week we asked for your kinky questions over on Instagram (at that handle I will forever fucking hate) and in the live chat on YouTube while we recorded. In this episode: This week’s...

minisode 52 of the Loving BDSM podcast on subspace

Minisode 52: Subspace

Too many kinksters chase subspace and then feel disappointed after their scene. Not because it didn’t go well but because they didn’t undergo a bio-chemical reaction that they had absolutely no control over. So...

episode 302 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Burnout in Power Exchange and Kink

Towards the end of 2021, we both admitted to each other we were starting to feel burnt out – in our power exchange! While our relationship wasn’t the source of the burnout, it could...

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