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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 361 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Response

This week, we’re responding to BDSM questions and situations kinksters have shared on the BDSM side of Reddit! In this episode: Join our kinky community on Patreon! Submissive who doesn’t want to follow rules...

episode 360 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Answering More Non-Kinky Relationship Questions

This week, we’re answering more non-kinky relationship questions. These came from a marriage coach on Instagram who labeled these questions as conversation starters to deepen your connection. We’ll see about that, lol. In this...

episode 359 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Most “Popular” Kinks and Fetishes

Pay attention to the air quotes because in this conversation, we had serious questions about this list. Joy Love Dolls compiled a list of the “most popular” kinks and fetishes using Google search data,...

episode 358 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Our Kink Life on OnlyFans

Back in January we talked about how we’d started an OnlyFans page for our kinky fuckery and mentioned we might do a six-month update. Well, here it is! In this episode: Consider this episode...

episode 357 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Are D/s Relationships 50/50?

The real question is: Should D/s relationships be 50/50? We have definite opinions on this one. In this episode: Subscribe to our weekly newsletter and get a free BDSM checklist! This week’s episode was...

episode 356 of the Loving BDSM podcast

How D/s Has Improved Our Lives

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re focusing on the positive and looking at how kink and power exchange have improved our lives – both as individuals and as a couple. In this episode: We...