Learning Lessons and Avoiding Future Conflict | Dealing With Conflict Series

by Kayla Lords · Published May 22, 2026 · Updated May 21, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:31:50 — 89.9MB)

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In the final installment of our conflict in D/s series, we’re talking about what do to after you’ve resolved this conflict to learn from it and (hopefully) avoid future conflict.

In this episode:

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Some of this may happen while you’re resolving the conflict because it can be part of the “what happened” conversation
How to avoid broken rules in the future
- More flexibility?
- Better tools for reminders?
  - Obedience App is one option
- Change of rule?
- Be honest about limitations and struggles
Preventing let downs and disappointments from lack of follow through (especially from Doms)
- Tools and apps for reminders?
- Setting more realistic expectations?
- Outsourcing the reminders to the submissive partner?
- Be honest about limitations and struggles
Punishment and consequences
- What worked and what didn’t
- Now is the time to negotiate something new for the future
Learn your triggers and share that info with your partner
- Being triggered isn’t your fault but it is your responsibility to figure out how to handle them as best as you can
Consider safe words and signals to use when you feel conflict happening before things get bad
- Consistent, scheduled check-ins are good for this, too