What to Do When Conflict Happens | Dealing with Conflict Series
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In this week’s episode, we’re continuing our series on conflict on D/s and answering the question, “What do we do about it when it happens?”
In this episode:
- No episode next week
- Friday night live stream on May 15
- Fundraiser for Equality Florida through YouTube and our Kinky Spring sale at TheKinkery.com!
- Equality Florida is the largest civil rights organization dedicated to securing full equality for Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) community. We’re changing Florida through lobbying, grassroots organizing, education, and coalition building — so that no one suffers harassment or discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.
- This episode isn’t for conflict that puts you in danger or for toxic situations.
- This episode is for the day-to-day conflicts that come up in relationships.
- Only you know if this is a conflict worth working through
- It may not be if it’s part of a pattern of behavior or something you’ve tried to resolve multiple times without success.
- Get as calm as you can
- Go to separate corners
- Put the topic aside for now
- Make a plan on when you’ll talk about it
- Think about your reaction to the conflict
- Triggers and past trauma?
- Bad tapes
- Past mistakes from your partner
- Talk about it
- Attachment style may play a part
- Some people withdraw
- Some people need reassurance
- LISTEN to your partner
- Take time to think about how you feel based on what’s being shared
- Apologize if necessary
- Discuss how to avoid this in the future
- Attachment style may play a part
- Communication that isn’t face-to-face
- Punishment/consequences aren’t always appropriate
- And if you haven’t negotiated them, you can’t use them
Links from the episode:
Shop the sale at The Kinkery | Sale ends Friday, May 7 at 11:59pm ET
2026 Dom/sub Dynamics Virtual Summit replay
Conflict in D/s (links to previous episodes about conflict)
Kink Aware Professionals (a place to find a kink aware therapist)
Resources and sites we recommend
Our mailing address is: PO Box 434, Ocala, FL 34478
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