banner ad for ElectraStim

About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we're here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 301 of the Loving BDSM podcast

When a Service Submissive Can’t Serve

This week, we’re talking about our experience during Kayla’s recovery from surgery – a time when she wasn’t able to be her service submissive self in her usual way. We share how we both...

mini podcast episode 48 on sadism and masochism

Minisode 48: Sadism and Masochism

JB is a sadist and Kayla is a masochist, and it’s something we talk about in a lot of contexts. In this week’s mini episode, we’re sharing a few things we want people to...

episode 299 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Reaction

Not only is this episode filled with Kayla Rants™, there’s also the rare sighting of a JB Rant™! In this episode: The Patreon Membership Drive continues through February 15 Thanks to silentwinged for sending...

masculine person wearing leather harness for Stockroom banner ad