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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 355 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Bonus Section Episode

We thought this was a “No thoughts, just vibes” kind of episode – because we didn’t have the energy to focus on a topic and there’s just been a lot going on lately. And...

episode 354 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Mental Load in Power Exchange

This week, we’re talking about the mental load each partner carries in power exchange. It’s a topic that touches on a lot of previous conversations: decision fatigue, burnout, the need for self-care, and on...

episode 353 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM Reddit Response

We’re baaaaa-aaaaaack! Our break was good but now we want to have a bit of fun, so let’s respond to kinky situations shared on Reddit! In this episode: Try out our Patreon free for...

episode 350 of the Loving BDSM podcast

BDSM in the News

We’re trying something new, and it’s based off of our weekly newsletter. Each week, we include a section called BDSM in the News and share articles Kayla finds about BDSM and kink. Some are...