Understanding Bad Tapes in Your D/s Relationship LB101

14 Responses

  1. KateValentine says:

    Yea after listening to all the episodes i can certainly say that the quality of the show has improved by leaps and bounds 😉 As for my personal take on bad tapes… I tend to be kinda indifferent about it? Like i could talk about something horrible that has happened in my life and then 5 mins later happily chat about something completely different, as if the previous conversation never happened to begin with… -Shrugs-

    Anyhow, I’m looking forward to next weeks podcast!


    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thanks for listening! I like that you’re able to do that. I think on some things, I can too, but since they don’t bother me, I don’t think about them. 🙂

  2. rabbitheart says:

    Yes I have seen this in myself and my Sir. We’re all products of our experiences and we don’t stop to realize that sometimes those experiences will affect future interactions adversely. I think I will in the future step back when I have a strong emotional reaction and try to find the root cause of the feelings. I hadn’t thought about it like this before so I really appreciate this!!!! 🙂

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I think it’s pretty common but thinking about it in a new way helps provide extra perspective. Glad we were able to do that! 🙂

  3. Diann says:

    What do you mean by “tapes”?

    • Kayla Lords says:

      In the episode we explain it — these are the bad memories and experiences that stay with us even when we move on from a relationship or a moment in time. They re-play in our head, especially when triggered by something happening in the moment, and we react to the situation as if it’s the old memory.

  1. May 30, 2018

    […] of the other person. It also makes people angry and relationships get wrecked. If it’s fear, bad tapes, or anything else, talk about […]

  2. October 17, 2018

    […] episode 101 of the Loving BDSM podcast, we discuss the concept of bad tapes in great […]

  3. October 24, 2018

    […] Understanding Bad Tapes in Your D/s Relationship (podcast) […]

  4. March 8, 2019

    […] doubt in myself.  My own history of issues with self-image, self-worth, and, to borrow the term (LovingBDSM), my own bad tapes are usually the root cause of my negative emotions.  During such times, I […]

  5. April 12, 2019

    […] Understanding Bad Tapes in Your D/s Relationship (podcast episode 101) […]

  6. November 6, 2019

    […] like me, you do have serious trust issues — due to bad tapes or a previous broken heart — let your partner know you’re not quite ready. Look for […]

  7. January 3, 2020

    […] on a spectrum from a little to a lot. It may be some underlying insecurities that have to do with bad tapes — which you may be able to work through together. This might also be the result of some […]

  8. June 7, 2021

    […] to you. In the beginning, these fears and worries will likely come from previous experience (aka bad tapes). But if you consistently roll your eyes, sigh, ignore, downplay, or diminish your partner’s […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.