5 Bad Tapes That Can Interfere In Your D/s Relationship

5 Responses

  1. Floss says:

    Great post. Myself and Bakji talk about this A LOT!! We’ve never given a name to it though, so I’ll definitely be discussing Bad Tapes with him.

    Just this week I said I was so grateful to him for not belitting something that was truly annoying me, and stressing me out, especially as it’s a situation I am stuck with for a few days. After I was reminded that this was common place in a previously relationship.

    Instead he came to stay at mine to give cuddles and support and made it all feel ever so slightly better. I am so pleased we have spent many hours discussing our personal bad tapes so that we know better how to support each other.

    Loved reading this x

    • Kayla Lords says:

      That’s it exactly – supporting each other. The bad tapes got there for all kinds of reasons (sometimes bad partners, and sometimes other reasons) but if you have someone who will support you through it, it’s SO much easier to deal with. Yay for Bakji!! 🙂

  2. Pixie Heart says:

    Echoing what floss said, great post guys! We as a little family no all to well the whole ‘bad tapes’, Although they are called isuses and triggers, in are house. We all have them , even the big old tough boss man.

    I have a lot of them, after coming out of an abusive marriage and after growing up seeing a lot of stuff a kid should not see. Like you guys I don’t like shouting or angry tones, cos with the ex shouting was fallowed by a fist in the face or a kick to tummy. Abuse is a big one for me , I love the D/s side of things , but for a long time I would freeze up when I tried to play. The same thing happened when it came to sex. Trust is as well a big one for me to, but again that is from years of no safe word, a twat of an ex , and other stuff! I hate money, cos it only ever ends with family wanting ‘help’ or feelings of being beholdent to other people. I also have a phobies, that have been hard to deal with and put a massive strain on the family 🙁

    But we have found ways to cope with them and everyone else. For loud nose , shouting and angry voices , we have house rules of no shouting , if you want someone , if we get cross with each other we have to walk away and if its major we write down what is wrong, and everything is done as quietly as we can. We talk about things a lot and that is the main thing. We also have learnt what are each others triggers. For me and little bear , we have really massive problems with self estem around are bodies and education. So the boss man gives us tasks to boost conferde and we get rewards for doing good at college and uni! we have loads of little ways of dealing with them, but we relise that we are not perfect and we love the saying ‘we working on it’

    Pixie x x x x

    • Kayla Lords says:

      ((((HUGS)))) I adore you, Pixie, and I’m so glad you have a good family around you to help you.

      • Pixie says:

        Lol why thank you miss lords! It not for me to say what or why , but everyone in are little family are or have be broken at times! Aunty May calls are house the Frenchman home for waifs and strays.???? Even the Frenchman has issues .. He said I could tell you them. He can’t do the underground in London , on his own cos he was court up in the 7/7 blasts and he even spoke with a therapist cos he was worried he would not be able to be a good daddy. (His dad dies when he was 2) . So you see even big brave Doms have issues. It’s why I love my family so much. We can’t save or help everyone in the world , but the people in my family, well I can help them and I can surport them with everything I have! Cos they do the same for me!

        Mwah!

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