Being a Parent in a D/s Relationship LB046

4 Responses

  1. Elbs says:

    Please don’t call non-disabled parents “special needs parents”. Firstly, there are parents with disabilities, and they’re the real ‘special needs parents’. It’s confusing, and it reveals the attitude that disabled people can’t be parents.

    And secondly, as an autistic person, I’ve noticed a toxic mentality that a lot of parents get into, especially the ones who call themselves ‘autism parents’ or ‘special needs parents’ or whatever. It’s this sense that their child’s disability is all about *them*, rather than their kid. I’m the one who is autistic, it’s my identity, not my mother’s. (Fortunately, Mom gets this.) It’s like if a mom who adopted interracially called herself a ‘black mom’ when she’s actually white. And then acted like a martyr for dealing with the challenges of having black adoptive children. I don’t care what disability your child has – their disability is not all about you! They are the protagonists of their life stories, not you. It’s a real victim mentality, and really hurtful to the kids (and don’t underestimate how much even a nonverbal child can understand).

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I apologize for misspeaking or misstating and using an insensitive or incorrect term…it was certainly never my intention to relay an attitude that disabled people can’t be parents – as someone who knows several disabled people who *are* parents, that’s certainly not something I believe. Please tell me what the best term would be to use – my thought would be parents of special needs children, but based on what I’ve read and heard “special needs children” isn’t necessarily the right term, either. As someone who doesn’t not have a disability (I don’t consider my own mental illnesses a disability) nor a child with disabilities, I need to be educated like the rest of the world. Sharing here would certainly help me and anyone else…

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