What Style of D/s Relationship Do You Want?

13 Responses

  1. Pixie says:

    Love, .love , love this!

    I have to confess that till a year or so ago I did not use lables at all for are dynamic. But when I stopped and thought about it and looked at what I have with the boss man it really helped to use some labels for it!
    So I would say are style is 24/7 , but it is not a total power exchange. I don’t do being micro managed, I allowed to ask questions and I am trusted to think for myself when it come to the running of are home. also I can be ringing him everytime I have to decided something. Would also have the whole Consensule none consent aspect , a caregiver / little thing and a very delisc S & M part! (mmmm pain!).
    As for the girls and me well we have a Subbie sister loving fuckfest style thing going on , that’s a style right? I have with Babe a loving D/s thing going on , as we both get a lot from it and I adore Being her sub. I also, with the boss mans knowing and being happy with have casule D/s thing with a few mistresses and a couple of male Doms. I think we have that cos he really does love watching me with others and I get a huge kick out of seeing him happy and proud!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      You have exactly what works for you and your family, and ultimately that’s all that matter. I think sometimes labels do more harm than good, but part of understanding something is naming it. But often finding what works means redefining things (which is what JB and I do) or rejecting the names and titles completely.

      And like you, we might be 24/7 but we can’t do complete micromanagement – nothing would ever get done, and we’d both be stressed out messes, lol.

  2. HerWolf says:

    It’s really odd. 7 years ago she brought up the fact I was a dom. Looked into it a little. We split after some time. We both had other relationships. Mine all empty. Hers diverse. Even a dom that gave her direction that I was unaware of till later. We were still getting together off and on.
    Jut us again after a year and change. Didn’t last long and she was gone again.

    Contact resumed. She confided in me about several relationships between times. Wanted us with the Dd/lg relationship. It never was 100{41b2ccad9c9615e377be815ad205595d71b5b6a7a02ca926ea5182d1112aa551} right. One day perfect. A week later totally off sync.

    She was never totally committed that I was taking the full dominant roll I walked the walk and talked the talk. Unless I knew in every part of me that she was mine alone I guess I always had some bit of a shield.

    She was crushed when she’d let go and be totally free with me and it would go wrong for some reason. More bad times then good. She was very reluctant to continue and I stayed the course. If fear it’s a love and life I can never get back to. She’s lived life. Had to do life and raise a child on her own. One that’s been hurt, had no support, and live or die only because of herself, independent is hard to break, love out, or even convince that she can again let go. She can let someone in to everything without being judged or put down for her life. I give to her total access to my life. Time that I even don’t have and it’s stilll not right. I’ve. Tried forcing it. Tried working it. Tried waiting. Tried massaging it. It’s still guarded from her and frustrating and scary for me. She’s all for me. I like the dd/lg name but in truth, I just wait to go back before the names and be us. Freaky, fun, flirty, and fucking. Car fucking. Crazy fucking. Naked pics. Phone sex. All of it.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I think people do put pressure on themselves once a label is attached – they believe (right or wrong) that have to be whatever that label is and if it doesn’t match what they’ve got in their head, then it isn’t perfect. It sucks to try as hard as you have and things still not be right. It’s frustrating too.

      If it’s meant to get better, the only two things that really make that happen are time and communication. LOTS of communication. Both people have to be willing to open up and talk and do the hard work of making it work. I hope you get back to a place that was good for you both.

  3. TheLittlePrincess says:

    I want to be 24/7 at some point. I’ve always found it appealing. 🙂

    • Kayla Lords says:

      For those of us who enjoy it, it can be fulfilling. I hope you’re able to have that for yourself at some point! 🙂

  4. jennyh14 says:

    we are not, nor will we ever be 24/7. both Sir and i have been divorced, we both have full custody of our kids, and we have no desire to do the whole kid-mingling step parent thing. we message each other every day, throughout the day, and see each other one day a week. and i really like that style. it makes our get-togethers special. we dress up for each other, we anticipate what we’ll do.
    when we started, quite honestly, it was purely sexual. but after two years together, we are a committed, romantic Dom/sub couple and i both love and trust him deeply.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      And that’s wonderful that you’ve found exactly what works for your relationship and your needs, both separately and together. 🙂

  5. ChinaDoll320 says:

    Awesome post! I want 24/7 romantic, but all the different types are interesting to hear about.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Depending on where you are in life and what kind of relationship you have, you might be surprised at what you want versus what you end up with. Whatever it is, it should make you happy. 🙂

  6. Kayla – you’re killing it!

    The whole D/s for the beginners section you have is great.
    I read almost all articles on dominance: building confidence, get in her mind, what does a good dominant look like,..
    Surely, after some practice, our plays are going to become even better.

    Thank you.

  1. December 1, 2017

    […] What Style of D/s Relationship Do You Want? […]

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