9 Different Types of Submission

19 Responses

  1. Clara says:

    This is a pretty great resource for general information. I’m new to kink and bdsm, so I really appreciate posts like this that help me get a better understanding of submission outside of my own.

  2. Angela says:

    I fit into none of these…..

  3. Eala says:

    I’m more of an alpha submissive. I’m strong minded, individualistic and self supportive, but completely enjoy submitting to my Dom / Husband.

  4. Genevieve says:

    You mentioned primal in your forced submission definition, but I’m not sure what that is or means? Does it mean violent? Or do you act strictly like animals such as furries? Curious because I’m definitely a forced submission kind of girl – I love to fight. And I’m strong. So it takes a very strong dominant to earn my eventual (and pretend begrudged) submission. But I’m not sure that’s primal? Also, is it predator/prey? Just barely learning here….

    • Kayla Lords says:

      We are not experts on primal, so it’s worth looking up and researching more about. Primal can mean predator/prey in a literal sense or in a subtler sense. Some people mean it in an animal sense (probably along the spectrum of pet play and furries but not necessarily). When we use the term “primal” we mean “animalistic” which is not (for us) the same as embodying an animal, but the wilder, rougher side of ourselves — which can include fighting back, chasing, “capturing” and other elements. We feel primal when we’re in touch with our base needs/desires and we (appear to) let our thinking selves take a step back so we’re wilder in some ways. Like all parts of kink, it can kind of mean what you want it to mean, but I would definitely recommend researching it — Fetlife has primal groups/forums and many BDSM-focused sites will define terms like primal in their own way.

  5. Felicia says:

    I’m trying to be submissive to my fiance which give him more control but I’m to dominate n other parts of our lives. Wat should I do

  6. Jeanne says:

    I’m new at this and I have a boyfriend that I love and I’m trying to do this for him

    • Kayla Lords says:

      It’s definitely okay to try it out to see if it works for you, but please know that you’re not “required” to try kink or D/s to keep a partner — or like it. If it’s not for you, be honest (with yourself and your partner) about that. Sometimes we’re just not compatible with people, and while it can be painful, it’s okay. You don’t have to change who you are to be with someone.

  7. Briana says:

    Thank you for this. I’m new to bdsm and the first experience I had was with a Dom who told me I wasn’t ready to be submissive when in reality I’m just extremely sassy, playful and enjoy funishment and forced submission. This episode helped me realize that we just weren’t compatible and I should keep looking until I find someone better suited to my interests. I think I fall somewhere in the cross sections of a Brat, SAM, and a little and that’s OK 🙂

  8. Katalina says:

    Hey. I’m a switch. I enjoy ordering my partner around and he enjoys it but….I do also love begging daddy for a spanking. I find that this works for couples much better. Yet each to their own. Enjoy you kinky people

  9. Emerson says:

    Is it possible to fit two? I slip into littke space often, but when Im not, pro submission makes sense.

  10. PL James says:

    This is a wonderfully helpful explanation. I am particularly grateful for your final reveal regarding yourself, and that it is possible to be many of these things–that we don’t need to be in boxes, but rather move fluidly across and between them.

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