Why We Say Caregiver/little Instead of DD/lg

12 Responses

  1. Maître says:

    I guess whatever works for you it’s okay – and I think once people have gotten beyond being grossed out by their assumptions of age play, there is nothing at all wrong with DD/lg or – in your case as in ours, DD/bg. Your suggestion though gives me the shivers for a different reason: it sounds like the PC brigade taking offence on other people‘s behalf.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Like all labels and titles, people can and will (and should) say what fits them best. So we’re not saying everyone should use C/l — but it’s what we’ll use, in general. And we’re explaining ourselves because it’s a new use of language which could be confusing for people.

      All that being said, if political correctness means making language more inclusive so people can see themselves in it and feel welcome, I’m all for it. It’s when it’s used as a cudgel to tell people what’s right and wrong that it can become toxic.

      We’re not saying don’t use DD/bg or whatever to describe your personal dynamic. We’re simply saying that this is another way to describe the dynamic writ large — for anyone who wants or would like an alternative.

  2. IMSTR says:

    I love it! I am a sub in discovery mode. In my “real” world, I am the one everyone in my life depends on (spouse to disabled person, sole wage earner, solo parent essentially). In my kink life, I prefer being cared for but it has been hard to give myself over because I didn’t really understand what I have been craving. Yes, I got the DD/lg dynamic and I could see the appeal but it never quite fit. This description of and the term Caregiver/little has really struck a chord, especially in light of a very eye opening (in a very good way) experience I had with a friend last week.

    I love reading your blog! Thank you for sharing with us!

  3. Beth says:

    I like Caregiver/little when talking about the dynamic in general and trying to explain it to others. Online I’ve met little boys who have Mommies, and I want my language to include them and others as well, even though my own dynamic is DD/lg. I’ve also met couples where the female sub identifies as a babygirl like you, but neither she or her partner are comfortable with the title “Daddy” but he’s still a very caring Dom.

    I think inclusiveness is awesome. Thank you for taking the time to explain this additional terminology.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I agree that it’s good for general purposes. People can (and should!) use whatever fits their own unique dynamic. 🙂

  4. Daddy David says:

    Its about a mind set as labels have become nearly meaningless. Ads sound like word salad.
    Caregiver I find too generic. Or perhaps its because I was a fulltime caregiver to my late submissive for her last 5 years.
    My self identification as a Daddy and my new submissive as a baby girl is because its more us. The master / slave labels that describe our dynamic seem so sterile and void.
    Also, Age play has no part, at all on our life though her girlish characteristics are quite evident to me.
    After all, she’s just a grandma with strong girlish / child like aspects needing nurtured. And a Daddy who loves spoiling his ‘good girl’. As older kinksters its not like we have anything better to do, than sensuously enjoy each others company.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Labels mean whatever we want them to mean, which of course means they can become meaningless too (let’s take a shot every time I say “mean” or “meaning” lol). In our own relationship, he’s Daddy, and I’m babygirl, and we’re DD/bg (not lg because it doesn’t feel right to me). But when we talk about the dynamic in general, Caregiver/little feels right (to US) because it encompasses more styles. But what people choose to use for their own dynamic and how they think of that part of the lifestyle is always completely up to them — and it should fit what feels right to you.

  1. August 17, 2018

    […] Why We Say Caregiver/little Instead of DD/lg (blog post) […]

  2. October 24, 2018

    […] we tend to have younger than our natural age behaviors, traits, and/or mindset. Their Dominant is a Caregiver, even if they don’t take a Mommy or Daddy title. A little wants or needs to be nurtured, […]

  3. October 2, 2019

    […] Why We Say Caregiver/little Instead of DD/lg (blog post) […]

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