6 Red Flags From Submissives That Turn Off Dominants

13 Responses

  1. toyforsir says:

    I really enjoyed this. We (subs) aren’t perfect and aren’t always what we say we are. Most if it boils down to communication but like some Doms = asshole, some subs = bitch. Subs looking for something, even if they don’t know what it is, have just as much responsibility as the Dom. It’s a partnership.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Absolutely. I think a lot of people get caught up in the fantasy and it can lead to bad behavior.

      • Greg says:

        This is my belief exactly. Fantasy is fun and easy. Reality is not. Then again, some of us just take awhile to learn the difference

  2. subp says:

    Very bad

  3. Elenor says:

    I’ve often worried I was being too forward in my expression of need. Or maybe I wasn’t being “vulnerable” enough throughout the day. But more communication is what’s necessary. He needs to know what I need and he doesn’t want a wilting violet when he’s away. That’s why I’m collared and married according to him.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I’m a huge believer that more communication is always a good answer to whatever is going on. Of course then you have to navigate the nuance of timing and tone, but more communication is key. 🙂

  4. This is a great guide, particularly for new submissives. As soon as I read the title, I thought of subs who will offer to do “anything.” Yeah… I somehow don’t think so! Thanks for writing!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thank you! And it’s a bit scary and also laughable, but most submissives figure it out (I hope).

      • Shyla says:

        Kayla, how you get to the point you’re comfortable saying what you need or think you need?

        • Kayla Lords says:

          It takes time and trust. After several years together, sometimes I still struggle, but since our relationship has developed, I know JB is always a safe person to talk to, so even when it’s hard to do, I say it anyway. I also think it’s important to find methods that make it as easy as possible. For me that means writing things down when they feel too hard to say. Other people prefer to text it or say it over the phone so they don’t have to look at the other person. The most important part is to get it out of your head. A relationship can’t grow if one (or both) of you can’t communicate your needs/wants.

  5. Raj says:

    Great article 🙂
    I have reposted it on my blog – https://hm-n-hunter.bdsmlr.com/

  1. June 1, 2018

    […] 6 Red Flags from Submissives That Turn Off Dominants (blog post) […]

  2. April 27, 2021

    […] Text from: 6 Red Flags from Submissives That Turn Off Dominants […]

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