Red Flags and Submissives LB132

When you see the term “red flags” in BDSM, most people immediately think of Dominants — the assholes, predators, posers, and uneducated kinksters. But that makes it seem like all submissives are perfect little angels and can’t be predatory or manipulative. Of course they can, because people are like that (some of them, at least). So let’s talk about!

In this episode:

  • Conversations with Doms trying to figure out what their submissives really want gave us the idea for this week’s episode.
  • Doms aren’t the only ones who can behave badly
  • The motivations for the red flags may be different.
  • Some submissives are manipulative and predatory.
  • Others are clueless and are trying to have a fantasy instead of a reality.
  • And still others aren’t actually submissive. They’d just like some kinky sex — and that’s okay!
  • What can Doms do when they come across red flags?
  • What can submissives do if they realize they’re exhibiting this bad behavior?

Links from the show:

6 Red Flags from Submissives That Turn Off Dominants (blog post)

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2 Responses

  1. Clara says:

    I came here from the blog post about red flags ages ago, and I’m glad I did. I am super uneducated about bdsm and kink, so I assume a lot. It’s great to hear about red flags for subs because you never hear people talking about that. Thanks for the episode!

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