Feeling More Vanilla Than D/s LB066
Kayla Lords and John Brownstone talk about how normal it is for the vanilla stuff to make you feel less your D/s self – and what to do about it.
In this episode:
- BDSM and D/s are mostly mental. If your head’s not into, the kink will take a backseat.
- When you recognize that it’s happened, say something.
- Be prepared for kinky sex to feel off, too.
- Make plans for playtime or a scene to help feel more “normal.”
- It helps to be mindful of your role during the day – tasks, schedules, and routines help.
- As a Dominant, you’ll want to be conscientiousness about helping your submissive feel their role more. Give them more to do. Ask for things you haven’t asked for in a while.
- Having an errant thought of annoyance or not wanting to do your kinky thing is normal, and it’s not something to worry about unless it’s happening every time.
- New relationship energy feels like it will last forever. Eventually that feeling ebbs and normalizes. This is when the these “disconnects” can occur.
- All of this is normal. Getting back on track is the “work” of having a successful relationship.
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