About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Feelings of comfort and familiarity episode 429

Feelings of Comfort and Familiarity

A lot of feelings come up when you’re getting back to the D/s relationship you want or reconfiguring it to work for your life now. For us, it’s been feelings of comfort (Kayla) and...

episode 428 of the Loving BDSM podcast talking about silly little arguments

Silly Conflicts in Our Power Exchange

We needed something lighthearted this week, so we’re taking a look at some of the silly little “arguments” we get into. In this episode: Our 2025 Patreon Membership Drive is still going on! Argument...

Q&A episode

Q&A: How Do I Get Out of My Head During Sex?

This week, a submissive can’t stop worrying about her partner’s previous sexual experience but her Dominant also worries he’s not giving her big enough orgasms. Here’s the question: My boyfriend and I have been...

episode 427 of the Loving BDSM podcast - a BDSM reddit response episode

BDSM Reddit Response

This week, we could use a cathartic rant or two, so we’re responding to the BDSM side of Reddit! In this episode: Join our kinky community during the 2025 Patreon Membership Drive and get...