banner ad for ElectraStim

About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Being D/s During Cold and Flu Season LB021

Being D/s During Cold and Flu Season LB021

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and, through her stuffy nose and achy body, she discusses how Dominants and submissives should handle their D/s relationship during cold and flu season. In this episode: This...

Make Your Kinky New Year’s Resolutions LB019

Make Your Kinky New Year’s Resolutions LB019

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host a special New Year’s Day episode dedicated to kinky resolutions – from silly to serious. In this show: Kayla shares her resolution ideas for submissives. John shares his...

episode 18 of Loving BDSM is the one where we kink up old Christmas songs

Kinking Our Favorite Christmas Songs LB018

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host this week’s episode of Loving BDSM. A quick “Merry Christmas” for all the listeners, and a little fun, kinking up a few Christmas songs. In this episode: Kayla...

masculine person wearing leather harness for Stockroom banner ad