Saying “No” In D/s Relationships
No means no, until you negotiate something different in your D/s relationship. No can be a kinky act of denial or it can be a way to maintain boundaries. The one thing that’s definite about the word no in D/s — it’s complicated. At least, it can be. So let’s talk about it.
In this episode:
- Check out John Brownstone’s online stores: The Wood Dom and the Kinky Fuckery Shop
- There’s more to saying no in D/s than we sometimes imagine.
- Dominant says no to deny their submissive something in a kinky way
- Dominant says no for their submissive’s own good — within the parameters of their relationship
- Dominants will say no because they can (which can be an abuse of power and a red flag)
- Submissives may not feel comfortable saying no — believing it makes them less submissive
- They may not want to say no because they don’t want to deny their partner
- No is a complete sentence but in D/s, it should also be the start of a conversation.
- “No” is a way to play as a brat.
- Dominants may not want to say no to a partner even though they think it’s the best response.
Links from the show:
Reasons You May Say No in a D/s Relationship (blog post)
When to Use Your Safeword (podcast)
Discipline, Punishment, and Consequences (podcast)
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