About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

image of hand clutching white sheets in orgasmic pleasure with text that says Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms

Our Favorite Vibrators for Forced Orgasms

Disclosure: Affiliate links are included throughout this post. That means if you click a link and make a purchase, we make a small commission. This helps us continue to make content and also fuels...

Loving BDSM mini podcast episode 33 on face slapping

Minisode 33: Face Slapping

In this week’s minisode, we’re discussing a favorite kink of ours: face slapping! If you’re new to it and want to explore with a partner, these are a few quick tips to keep in...

blog banner text says orgasm control 30 Days of D/s with image of exploding geyser in background

What is Orgasm Control? | 30 Days of D/s

Beyond “one of our [JB and Kayla] favorite ways to play with kink,” orgasm control is exactly as labeled: yielding control of one’s orgasms to someone else. In power exchange this often looks like...

episode 281 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Vulnerability and Power Exchange

We’ve mentioned this topic so many times in the past, but we’re finally talking about it: the importance of vulnerability in power exchange. Our definition and view of vulnerability comes from Brene Brown’s talks,...