About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

image of white person's hand holding brown belt over black background; text says our favorite impact play toys

Our Favorite Impact Play Toys

Impact play, the act of consensually spanking, striking, or hitting a partner, is one of our top kinks. In our hierarchy of kinks, it comes right after the need for power exchange. So yeah,...

Loving BDSM mini episode 35 on funishment basics

Minisode 35: Funishment Basics

We recently did a longer podcast episode on funishment. For those who want the Tl;dr, here are five tips and things to know about funishment if you’re trying it for the first time. A...

image of dark room with yellow warning light bulb; text says Signs of Subfrenzy 30 Days of D/s

5 Signs You’re in Subfrenzy | 30 Days of D/s

We’ve talked a LOT about subfrenzy around here. For good reason: when in the throes of it, submissives can put themselves in dangerous situations or misread reality. Sometimes it’s harmless, and a submissive is...

episode 282 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Kinksters React to Vanilla Relationship Reddit

Consider this another experiment. We enjoy doing the BDSM Reddit reactions, but we wondered what it would be like to react to vanilla relationship questions from Reddit. Spoiler alert: there’s no major change in...