About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Feeling More Vanilla Than D/s LB066

Feeling More Vanilla Than D/s LB066

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone talk about how normal it is for the vanilla stuff to make you feel less your D/s self – and what to do about it. In this episode:  ...

Understanding D/s Contracts LB064

Understanding D/s Contracts LB064

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together again for episode 64 of Loving BDSM. This week, they’re discussing D/s contracts. In this episode: The latest video is available through Patreon or membership to KaylaLords.com!...

Dungeons and Play Parties, Oh My! LB063

Dungeons and Play Parties, Oh My! LB063

In episode 63, Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss the things that happen, what you can expect, and some of the fun you can have at BDSM dungeons and play parties. In this episode:...

Understanding Boundaries and Limits LB062

Understanding Boundaries and Limits LB062

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss boundaries and limits in episode 62 of the Loving BDSM podcast. In this episode: Save 10 percent on the HUM vibe with coupon code: kaylalords What are limits...