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About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Service Submission LB137

In the first of what will surely be many conversations about submission, we’re discussing service submission. We give a (very) broad overview of what it means and then dive into our very personal experiences...

quick definitions of 9 types of submission, picture of John Brownstone holding Kayla Lords collar

10 Different Types of Submission

A quick note before we jump into this: This isn’t a comprehensive list of every form of submission. That would take a long time to create and longer to read. Our list also shows...

His Two Favorite Penis Masturbators

Consider this a tale of two penis masturbators. Proof-positive that you can enjoy multiple types of stimulation — which is why (when you can afford it) having multiple sex toys can be really fun....

episode 136 of Loving BDSM discussing intimacy in D/s relationships

Intimacy in D/s Relationships LB136

We’ve spent the past several days focusing on creating space for the small, intimate moments in our relationship. That intimacy has helped us reconnect, made us feel closer, and been positive for both of...