5 Gift Ideas for a Very Kinky Valentine’s Day

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Note: The image associated with the blog post was downloaded from a stockphoto site, but the artist is Inna Markova.

Not everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day and that’s okay. John Brownstone and I tend to go out for a nice dinner, have a little kinky fuckery, and drink a decadent coffee. This year, especially, we’re keeping it low key. (But there will definitely be dinner and coffee.)

I still remember the gifts he gave me over the years to commemorate the holiday of love and lust. A necklace, A kinky fuckery toy. This year, he bought new (beautiful!) rope, so I think that counts, even if it did arrive well before Valentine’s Day.

If you want to give your kinky love a gift, we’ve got this mini-gift guide to help you out. And this list is good for any holiday, birthday, or other gift-giving occasions so feel free to refer back to it. Bonus: there are options for nearly every budget level.

Kinky Friends and Community

Want a “gift” that costs almost nothing but time? Take your partner to their first munch, workshop, Dom or sub meeting, or  local dungeon. The cost can be minimal, if you’re on a budget. Munches are often at a restaurant, and if you order a water or a $2 drink, no one will blink. Meet-ups are often free. Workshops and dungeon parties may have an entry fee but compared to a fancy dinner out, it’s a drop in the bucket.

You’re giving your partner validation that they’re not alone, while making sure they don’t have to go to their first-time community event alone. And if it’s not their first event, you’re giving them time to be their (and your!) kinky self. After a long day or week of being vanilla, it feels amazing to relax and be among people who get you.

Where to find new kinky friends and your community? Fetlife, baby. 

Not Your Typical Spa Day

Perfume is an old(ish) (I might be dating myself with this one) stereotypical gift for women and femme folks — especially at Valentine’s Day. Let’s bring this one into the 21st century a bit. Plan a night, day, or weekend of pampering each other — masks, facials, and softer skin. If it ends in sexy fun, even better, because this recommendation can handle all of it.

For not a lot of money (literally a few dollars per jar for some products), you can buy skin care products and lube — so you start the day squeaky clean and end it getting down and dirty.

We have loved the Butters (an all-natural, thick, NOT runny) lube for literal years. But the scrubs, balms, and body butters feel AMAZING. And if you’ve got access to a bathtub (with enough room for two or more!), check out the bath bombs. It’s all natural and bullshit free.

How to get your hands on some skin-pampering fun? We recommend GettheButters.com. Use code kayla and you save 5 percent off your purchase, too. Spend $45 or more and get free shipping!

Mutual Masturbation of Love

Sometimes we want to fuck, but we’re too damn tired. We want the orgasm, but the idea of all that activity just makes us feel more tired. Mutual masturbation is one of our preferred methods to get what we need, be together, and use minimal energy. Even better, if you’re broke as hell, it can be free.

Use your hand or your partner’s hand. Use a sex toy you already own! This is one of those times when you don’t have to do anything special other than get naked and touch yourself. It’s a great option if you want the love and lust of Valentine’s Day but just don’t have the energy for something big and elaborate.

If you’ve got a budget, though, and want to give your partner a gift to unwrap, you can do that, too! Where should you shop?

For vibration lovers who love deep rumbly sensations, check out Hot Octopuss. We’ve tried every toy in their line-up and love them all. Now through Valentine’s Day, you can buy one sex toy, and get the second half off!  

Affirm Your Kinky Commitment

We say it every time, and we’re going to keep saying it, BDSM contracts are NOT required for D/s relationships. They’re optional, always and forever. But for some people, it’s an important part of their power exchange. They want the formality of a contract and to know their agreement is written down.

Creating a BDSM contract can be seen as a loving, romantic thing to do. Have a nice dinner. Drink a glass of your preferred beverage. And spend an evening talking about the state of your D/s relationship and where you want it to go. The kinky romantic in me swoons at the very idea.

No money? No problem. Pull up a Word or Google Doc or get a piece of paper and pen. Type or write it all down. And, if you can’t or don’t want to type or write, use voice record on your phone or other device to say it all.

Got a little money to spend? Want a keepsake you can keep and come back to? We recommend BDSMContracts.org. You can choose a digital or printed (or both!) option. Use code LovingBDSM and save 20 percent!

Plan a Sensational BDSM Scene

We’re huge fans of using any excuse/opportunity for kinky fuckery. Whether you go out or stay in, why not make a BDSM scene part of the fun? Try something new or enjoy old favorites!

We love (and continue to enjoy): spankings, paddles, floggers, bondage (with and without rope), wax play, electroplay, orgasm control, and plain old rough sex. Pick what speaks to you, talk about it together, and plan some fuckery!

Use what you’ve got if you’re short on cash. If you’ve got a teeny, tiny bit of money, check your local hardware store for pervertables (dowels can make a great cane substitute…just sayin’). But if you’ve got cash to burn and want the day to include surprises, it’s time to go shopping.

The Stockroom is running a Valentine’s Day sale on sensation, bondage, BDSM, and sex toys with some sale prices up to 50 percent off! (If you see something you love, and it’s not on sale, use the code LovingBDSM to save 15 percent off — some exclusions apply, so read the fine print.)

No spoilers, sweetie (especially if your sweetie reads the blog) BUT what, if any, plans do you have for Valentine’s Day?

 

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