The Dos and Don’ts of Going to a Munch


Rara is a kink party and event planner in the Washington, DC area. She has her own personal dungeon where she holds BDSM play parties.  She also hosts munches, facilitates a discussion group on Poly and Power Exchange Relationships and organizes educational classes. Rara is an active member of her local BDSM community enjoying life as a poly masochistic bottom. Her kinks include impact, rope suspension, needles and more.

9 Responses

  1. Jason says:

    Great article. What would you recommend to someone who doesn’t hear at all. I can lipread a little but… it’s not ideal.

    As a host what would you do if a random deaf guy showed up?

    • Rara Seitz says:

      Jason, that’s a great question. We definitely try to be all inclusive. As a host, I would greatly appreciate it if somebody would to reach out to me before the Munch and let me know that they are deaf so that I could learn what they need for me to help make their munch experience successful. I would personally make sure that they were seated at a table with other guests who would insure that the deaf person is included. I would check in on them often throughout the munch. I would also bring others over and introduce them to make sure that the deaf person felt they were not at a disadvantage. Obviously if you can bring an interpreter with you, that is always the ideal situation. But I understand that’s not always readily available. I would recommend also bringing with you some paper and pen so that if you or anybody who wants to have a conversation with you needs to they can write out what they want to say. Definitely reach out to the host though and let them know about your situation. Hopefully they will work with you. But if not, honestly you don’t want to be a part of that group anyway. Good luck.

    • Dara says:

      I’d be one of those people who sat with you! I can sign very little but I’d love to learn more. And I can write like a beast haha.

  2. Ruby says:

    Great article and a good refresher on munch etiquette. When I first entered the lifestyle I attended my first munch by myself which was huge as I am a painfully shy person. I had not met anyone previously so I went in blind. I did find they had there cliques, but everyone was really nice. It was so refreshing to meet people from all walks of life. Some munches were better than others. One time I got “much shamed” by another sub because I attended one without my Dom. I didn’t respond to that nonsense because he knew I wanted to meet other subs and slaves. I don’t have any friends in the lifestyle. He encouraged me to go since he couldn’t that evening.

  3. This is great advice! I have been considering going to a Munch for a long time, and one of the barriers is knowing what to expect. Having someone spell it out for me is great. 🙂 Thank you!

  1. October 17, 2018

    […] kind of time constraints you have. John Brownstone and I know people who drive an hour one way to go to munches because they really enjoy the energy of the group. If you have that option, take […]

  2. July 19, 2019

    […] cannot recommend strongly enough that you consider attending a local munch in your area. Fetlife is the best resource to find those, wherever you live. Some areas are so […]

  3. April 15, 2020

    […] 89. Give her/ receive a nipple-gasm. 90. Bring your partner to orgasm with oral sex. 91. Try edible underwear. 92. Be a voyeur and watch others having sex. 93. Wear a collar and a leash/ collar your partner. Read BDSM Collar Guide for a Happy Submissive 94. Attend a munch. Read The Dos and Don’ts of Going to a Munch […]

  4. April 1, 2021

    […] Dom or sub meeting, or  local dungeon. The cost can be minimal, if you’re on a budget. Munches are often at a restaurant, and if you order a water or a $2 drink, no one will blink. Meet-ups are […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.