About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 166 of the Loving BDSM podcast

D/s Can’t Fix Every Situation

As much as I wish it weren’t so, our D/s relationship can’t, won’t, and doesn’t fix everything. What I mean by that is that the power exchange of John Brownstone making decisions and me...

introducing our new vlog series on YouTube -- our D/s life

Our D/s Life: A New Vlog Series

If you’ve listened to any  of our podcast episodes or watched any videos, you know I have a tendency to have lots of ideas. But since many of them now involve John Brownstone, I...

episode 165 of the Loving BDSM podcast discusses different mindsets in different kinky scenes

Different Mindsets in Kinky Scenes

This week after a unique experience in our local BDSM dungeon, we’re talking about how having a different experience during a kinky scene than what you expect to have — including what your thinking...

guest post by The Bonny Sub on her experience with chronic pain and BDSM

Reflections on My Relationship with Pain

Please help us welcome guest contributor, The Bonny Sub, to the blog today. She’s sharing her journey with both excruciating chronic pain and her new BDSM journey and the lessons to be found in...

in episode 164, we discuss repressing your D/s identity and why that's not a good thing

Repressing Your Kinky Identity

This week’s topic comes straight from one of our kinky patrons — RaxLeanne! She shared her experience of repressing her kinky self in her relationship, and how it didn’t work out well. John Brownstone...

YouTube on laptop and phone screens

Video Series: 5 Things You Need to Know

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Lean in close for this one…. We (okay, I) talk a lot. Shocking, right?! All kidding aside, we specialize in long conversations, and we...