About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

in episode 164, we discuss repressing your D/s identity and why that's not a good thing

Repressing Your Kinky Identity

This week’s topic comes straight from one of our kinky patrons — RaxLeanne! She shared her experience of repressing her kinky self in her relationship, and how it didn’t work out well. John Brownstone...

YouTube on laptop and phone screens

Video Series: 5 Things You Need to Know

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Lean in close for this one…. We (okay, I) talk a lot. Shocking, right?! All kidding aside, we specialize in long conversations, and we...

how we incorporate mutual masturbation into our sex life

Mutual Masturbation as Part of Our Sex Life

What is mutual masturbation? For us, it’s the act of masturbating together, whether or not we’re touching each other at the same time. We can masturbate in separate rooms and be connected by technology....

episode 162 of the Loving BDSM podcast discusses strengths in D/s

Developing Your Strengths in D/s and BDSM

When you hear the word “strength,” what comes to mind? All kinds of things, probably. This week, we’re taking you on our winding conversation through what it means to be strong as a submissive,...