About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 225 of the Loving BDSM podcast - Q&A episode

Answering Listener Questions

Right after we decided to make this week a question and answer episode, we thought of other ideas (funny how that works!). We received more questions than we wanted to answer in a single...

episode 224 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing the pandemic

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay Right Now

No real tips or advice in this week’s episode. We just needed space to be able to say that we’re not always okay (even though we’re doing FINE!!) and we wanted to make that...

episode 223 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing compromise in D/s relationships

Compromise in D/s Relationships

We’ve talked about the importance of compromise before but always as part of other discussions — on teamwork, goal-setting, and disagreements. This week, we give it an episode all its own. Yes, compromise can...

episode 222 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing Kayla's mental health and how it makes her feel as a submissive

How Kayla’s Mental Health Makes Us Feel

We’ve talked about mental health and D/s relationships before. And Kayla is fairly open about her mental health in nearly every episode. After a recent bout of anxiety and depression, we’re talking about how...