About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 290 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Revisiting Episode 2: How to Talk to Your Dominant

We’re continuing with the exercise of revisiting old episodes from the archive from before we had lengthy conversations about kinky topics. This week, we’re rehashing the second episode which was all about helping nervous...

Minisode 39 of the Loving BDSM podcast on Negotiation Tips

Minisode 39: Negotiation Tips

In this week’s minisode, we share a few tips, tricks, and truths we’ve learned about negotiation in power exchange. Simply put, negotiation is a way to communicate your needs, get consent, and figure out...

episode 289 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Kink-Shaming

We’ve mentioned the concept of kink-shaming in many episodes, but we’ve never really focused on it as a topic. So let’s do that now! In this episode: According to Brene Brown, shame grows with...

How to Hire a Professional Dominant

There are as many reasons to hire a professional dominant as there are willing clients. Maybe you want to try kink outside of an established relationship. Maybe you only trust the professionals. Or maybe...