About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 335 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Our 2023 Plans and Goals

It’s the first episode of 2023 so we’re sharing our personal and professional goals and plans for the year! This episode actually focuses more on the personal side – both as individuals and our...

episode 334 of the Loving BDSM podcast which is a BDSM reddit response

BDSM Reddit Response

For this last episode before we take a couple of weeks off, we’re responding to questions and situations shared on the BDSM side of Reddit. And yes, there are rants in this one. In...

episode 333 of the Loving BDSM podcast is a BDSM Q&A episode

BDSM Q&A

We asked for your questions over at that handle we fucking hate on Instagram, and y’all delivered! We got so many we couldn’t answer them all! If you have BDSM-related questions for us, we...

episode 332 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing what we've learned after 10 years in a D/s relationship

What We’ve Learned After a Decade Together

Ten years ago from the time we recorded this week’s episode, we were “meeting” each other through blog comments. On December 23, it will be ten years since our first conversation. Next year, we’ll...

episode 331 of the Loving BDSM podcast, the annual favorite sex toys of year episode

Our Favorite Sex Toys of 2022

It’s that time of year again — time to talk about the sex toys we’ve loved this year, plus some Black Friday sales and specials. Because no one should pay full price for fuckery,...