About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Spankings LB059

Spankings LB059

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss spankings in episode 59. There’s much more to it than a hand and an ass. In this episode: Become our kinky patron at the $5 and up level,...

How to Hold Your Dominant Accountable LB057

How to Hold Your Dominant Accountable

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host episode 57 and tackle a topic that doesn’t get much attention – how exactly does a submissive hold their Dominant accountable for their bad behavior? In this episode:...

Using Labels to Figure Out Your Kink LB056

Using Labels to Figure Out Your Kink LB056

Kayla Lords hosts episode 56 and talks about labels, how they can help you figure yourself out, using them to find a community, and rejecting labels for different reasons. In this episode: You can...

D/s Breakups LB054

D/s Breakups LB054

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are back for episode 54 of the Loving BDSM podcast. This week’s topic is about D/s breakups and how to (hopefully) make them suck a little less. In this...