About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

7 Things Good Dominants Do

I’m not fond of the term “real” Dominant as if another option is the “imaginary” Dom. In the context of figuring out who’s a fake/wannabe/poser Dom, who’s uneducated and has more to learn, and...

The Emotional Impact of Kink and D/s

Emotional Impact of D/s and Kink

Episode 80 started with a question on Twitter: If you could go back in time, what would you tell your younger self about kink? That started a discussion between us about the emotional impact...

How Discovering Kink Made Me Feel

In some ways, looking back, I think the spark of kink was always in me. Discovering my kinky side wasn’t a straight line from there to here, and it wasn’t always easy. I got...

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community LB079

Back for episode 79, Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss the importance of the kinky community. Plus hear more about the new website and the online Loving BDSM community! In this episode: Is the...

5 Reasons to Join a Kinky Community

5 Reasons to Join a Kinky Community

Image Credit: Pixabay When someone asks me, “Where do I meet a Dominant?” or “Where do I go to learn how to do bondage or cupping or…” (pick a kinky thing, any kinky thing,)...