“Tests” in D/s Relationships LB103

by Kayla Lords · Published October 13, 2017 · Updated February 10, 2019

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:01 — 37.4MB)

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We’re a little bit ranty this week, but it’s all for a good cause. A new-to-us red flag appears to be submissives being “tested” on their D/s relationship without knowing it, without consenting to it, and without cause. Are there ways to prove yourself to each other in a D/s relationship? Definitely but not the way it’s been described by confused, upset, and/or angry submissives.

In this episode:

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Tests aren’t required in D/s.
You can have challenges or tests in your dynamic but only if it’s negotiated and agreed to by both of you.
“Testing” a partner without their consent and then punishing them if they fail is wrong, lacks consent, and manipulative.
The real “tests” aren’t tests at all.