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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

A Bit of This and That LB093

Nothing particularly educational this week for episode 93. Think of this as a long bonus section. If that’s not your thing, no worries, we’ll be back to normal in episode 94. Links from the...

You Won't Always Get It Right

You Won’t Always Get It Right

GIF via Giphy When John Brownstone and I decided that we wanted Loving BDSM to have it’s own home and that we wanted to build our own kinky community, we had a vision for...

Cockrings LB092

Cock Rings LB092

We’re out of town this week but through a bit of time travel, we have a brief episode on cock rings. In this episode: Join 30 Days of D/s for free! This week’s episode...

Trying Cock Rings

Putting a (Cock) Ring On It

Say cock ring to some people, and they quiver with thoughts of submissives being bound and tortured by all kinds of kinky fuckery – with or without a cock ring. I will admit there...

Kneeling and Crawling LB091

Kneeling and Crawling LB091

This week we’re talking about kneeling and crawling, two stereotypical submissive acts that not everyone can do, or even wants to do. In this episode: Join 30 Days of D/s for free! This week’s...

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