4 Ways to Get Into a Kinky Mindset
Vanilla life interferes with D/s and kink every chance it gets. Bills need to be paid. You have to go work. And let’s not even mention what parenting can do to your kinky life....
We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!
We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.
In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.
You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!
We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.
Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.
Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!
Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!
We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!
Vanilla life interferes with D/s and kink every chance it gets. Bills need to be paid. You have to go work. And let’s not even mention what parenting can do to your kinky life....
BDSM Dungeon. Those words cause many a kinkster to shiver, some out of excitement and some out of fear. If you have never been to a dungeon, it can seem intimidating. You are probably...
In episode 151, we talk about a topic near and dear to John Brownstone’s heart — if you want to lead the relationship (as a Dominant), you need to be consistent. In this episode:...
If you’ve listened to a few podcast episodes, you’ve heard John Brownstone mention one word a few times — consistency. It’s one of his core beliefs as a Dominant and an indicator of how...
Thanks to a listener suggestion, we’re talking about confidence for Dominants — how normal it is to not be fully confident and how to become more confident. And also, ranting about why we need...
If we tried to write a totally comprehensive list of everything a new Dominant needs to know, we’d be here for a while. So consider this a “top 13” kind of list. Getting these...