What’s the Difference Between a Daddy and a Sir? LB032

by Kayla Lords · Published April 8, 2016 · Updated April 7, 2019

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John Brownstone and Kayla Lords team up again in episode 32. This week’s episode takes on a question from a listener: what is the difference between a Daddy and a Sir?

In this episode:

Kayla announces her next book release: Kinky Love Notes is now available for pre-order and releases on April 14!
John Brownstone discusses the early beginnings of Dominance and submission: Victorian era, Old Guard, and Gorean.
Old Guard is known for being hierarchical. Leather families may be what most people are familiar with. Old Guard stems from WWII era.
Victorian is known for being formal and “proper.” High protocol events and dinners are based on this time frame.
Gorean is based on The Gor series by John Normal, a science-fiction/fantasy series of novels published in the 1960s. Many Master/slave relationships are built around the Gorean principles.
Some people may think Marquis de Sade and his writings were a precursor to D/s but de Sade is best known for sadism and masochism, which doesn’t have to be a part of D/s.
The Daddy Dom is a gentler, more nurturing type of Dominant.
The more “typical” Sir is often stricter than a Daddy.
Both want their submissive to grow and achieve their goals and dreams. The methods these types of Dominants use may differ.
It is possible to acknowledge a nurturing side of your Dominance without using the term “Daddy.”
It is also possible to acknowledge a giggly, silly side of your submission without calling yourself “babygirl” or a “little.”
Kayla recounts the first time she called John Brownstone “Daddy.”
John Brownstone has a clear Daddy side and a clear Dominant side. Often, the two sides co-mingle.
The decision of whether to be a Daddy or not is personal. There is no right answer.
Ultimately, forget the labels and formulate the relationship that is right for you and your partner.