About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 238 of the Loving BDSM podcast

When Your Kinks Don’t Align

We’ve talked about this in different episodes in the past, but it’s time to give it a standalone episode. Whether in an established power exchange relationship or meeting a new partner, not every kink...

episode 237 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing edge play and risk

Understanding Edge Play and Risk in BDSM

It’s the start of October — aka Kinktober. We thought it would be fun and appropriate to talk kink. We’re going in hot with a big (and sometimes heavy) topic: edge play, danger, and...

episode 236 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Dealing with Feelings of Shame

While we don’t get into all the causes for shame in this episode, we also understand that it’s a heavy topic. Feel free to ignore or come back to this one later, if needed....

episode 235 of the Loving BDSM podcast answering audience BDSM questions

BDSM Q&A

We had a rough weekend in our personal lives so took the easy way out for this week’s podcast episode. We asked y’all for questions on Instagram (at that handle Kayla hates). And y’all...

episode 234 of the Loving BDSM podcast

On Being a Fixer in a D/s Relationship

We’ve mentioned in multiple episodes some of the problems and challenges that happen in any relationship when you’re a “fixer” (as we are). This week, let’s talk about it in more detail! In this...

episode 233 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Reactive, Proactive, and Anticipatory Service

There are multiple ways of talking about submission, power exchange, and service (non-sexual and sexual). In this week’s episode, we take inspiration from a workbook by Luna Carruthers entitled Submissive Reflection: A Journey of...