About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 330 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing research on the difference between being kinky and doing kink

Research on Kink Behavior vs. Kink Identity

This week is a bit different but something we’ve wanted to do a while. Our dear friend, Professor Sex, finished their thesis several months ago and generously allowed us to discuss their work on...

episode 328 of the Loving BDSM podcast answering sex-related questions

Answering Spicy Questions

Spoiler: This episode is about sex, and it’s a TMI episode about the two of us, our sexual fantasies, turn-ons, and more. If that’s more than you want to hear, feel free to skip...

episode 327 of the Loving BDSM podcast on sharing your burdens in your D/s relationship

Sharing Burdens in Power Exchange

We mentioned something in last week’s episode on people-pleasing — about needing to talk to JB about a stressor Kayla tried to handle alone — and it got us thinking about the things we...

episode 326 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing people pleasing in power exchange relationships

People Pleasing in Power Exchange

People pleasing happens for a lot of reasons, and it manifests in a lot of ways. We’re talking about it this week, specifically as it relates to power exchange and D/s, based (primarily) on...

episode 325 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing different types and forms of intimacy in D/s relationships and kink

Different Types of Intimacy in Kink

We’ve talked about intimacy before — link below — but this time, a post on Instagram gave me (Kayla) some specific examples of intimacy beyond the obvious. Also, yes, this is a solo episode...