About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Kneeling and Crawling LB091

Kneeling and Crawling LB091

This week we’re talking about kneeling and crawling, two stereotypical submissive acts that not everyone can do, or even wants to do. In this episode:   This week’s episode inspired by two topics from...

Topping from the Bottom LB090

Topping from the Bottom LB090

We didn’t know a lot of people had feelings about this topic until we mentioned in on the blog and on Twitter. Episode 90 focuses on topping from the bottom – what it is,...

6 Things That Aren’t Topping from the Bottom

Ahhhh, topping from the bottom. That time honored tradition that either means a submissive has a lot to learn or one in dire need of reconfiguring their D/s relationship. Of course, unfortunately, sometimes the accusation...

Dealing With Your Insecurities in D/s LB089

Dealing With Your Insecurities in D/s LB089

We’re back for episode 89 and we’re talking about something that kills relationships or makes it impossible to get one started – your insecurities about yourself, your partner, past relationships, you name it. In...

5 Ways Insecurities Impact Your D/s Relationship

5 Ways Insecurities Impact D/s Relationships

Being insecure about something isn’t necessarily a problem. If those feelings propel you to improve yourself, find contentment, or learn more about yourself, insecurities can actually help you grow. The problem for most of...