Love Maps and Power Exchange
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The idea of love maps comes from the Gottman Institute in their studies on relationships, specifically marriage. We wondered if it could be applied to power exchange, too.
In this episode:
- Join us through Patreon for a special holiday tier and get extra perks!
- This week’s trans-affirming resource is QueerMed.
- Who developed the concept of a love map?
- Dr. Gottman from the Gottman Institute
- Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman studied relationships for 50 years and run the Gottman Institute where they share their research findings, their conclusions, and plenty of courses/workshops to help couples and other people.
- What is a love map?
- Marital friendship is the foundation of Dr. Gottman’s Sound Relationship House theory. It’s the thing that sustains a relationship.
- A big part of that is getting to know your partner. Dr. Gottman’s term for getting to know your partner’s world is called Build Love Maps.
- The Gottmans found that the key to sustaining a happy relationship is having a strong friendship, and the first step in strengthening friendship is getting to know each other, deeply and intimately.
- A Love Map, in essence, is the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner’s life. This includes their hopes, dreams, worries, and preferences.
- Why love maps are “important”
- Navigate conflicts more smoothly
- Support each other more effectively during times of stress
- Maintain a strong friendship alongside their romantic relationship
- Stay connected even as life changes and evolves
- How to build a love map
- Answer questions about your partner to determine how much you know
- Ask your partner open-ended questions to learn more about them
- Love maps are an ongoing thing. There will always be more to learn about your partner.
- Do love maps work for power exchange?
Links from the episode:
Join us on Patreon as a Holiday Cricket
Resources for this episode:
The Sound Relationship House: Build Love Maps
Understanding the Gottman Love Map
Building Strong Love Maps in Your Relationship
Build Love Maps Exercise (PDF)
Love Maps Questions (PDF)
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