Does a Submissive Have to Change in D/s?

by Kayla Lords · Published August 5, 2022 · Updated August 4, 2022

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We (kind of) get where this question comes from — submissives are seen to bend to the will of their Dominant partner, submissive training and behavior modification are tools used in some D/s relationships. But the question is flawed and led to All The Thoughts. Here’s what we think about the idea of a submissive needing to change to have a successful D/s relationship.

In this episode:

Check out our interview on a recent podcast episode of Spank U, Next!
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Question we received in our DMs: How much does a submissive need to change for a successful D/s relationship?
Any successful relationship is figuring out the Venn diagram of both partners wants, needs, boundaries, limits, and then focusing on the overlap. Each person needs to be able to be who they are, generally.
Submissive training doesn’t mean changing who you are.
Both partners may need to “change” by learning new skills or new ways of thinking about relationships.

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