Putting Together Your BDSM Toy Bag: What Should You Pack?

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When you go to your first BDSM dungeon or play party, you might wonder what gear you should bring with you. We’re often asked what we recommend for inclusion in BDSM toy bags, especially for newbies.

If you’re expecting an itemized list of brand-name gear, this may disappoint. But if you’re not sure where to start or how to begin, we have a few ideas on what to pack in your BDSM toy bag.

Do You Need a Toy Bag for Your Kink?

First, let’s start with the really important question — do you even need a BDSM toy bag? Not really. If the idea of packing up your paddles, crops, whips, rope, cuffs, or anything else doesn’t appeal, don’t do it.

Here’s a short (and not at all complete) list of people who might want to pack up their kinky toys:

• You plan to play in a BDSM dungeon, in a sex club, or at a play party. Some places may have “house” toys you can use, but it’s understood that you’ll likely bring your own with you.
• You’re traveling for any reason and want to make sure you can get kinky while you’re away from home.
• It helps your bedroom and/or home feel more organized. John Brownstone keeps the majority of our impact play toys in a duffel bag under the bed. It’s the one we take to the club, and it’s the one we pull out when we do a full scene at home.
• You’re trying to hide it from someone in your home — kids, roommates, family members, a cleaning service. Packing your toys away into a nondescript bag or case keeps them discreet so the whole world doesn’t know what you’re into.
• Because you want to. Which is as good a reason as any.

What Kind of Bag Do You Need?

Not sure what bag to back your BDSM gear in? You might be overthinking this a bit because the answer is quite simple: whichever bag works best for you. And it doesn’t even have to be a bag.

• Duffel bags
• Upright luggage with extendable handle and wheels
• Large briefcase
• Plastic totes
• Overnight travel bags (these usually have straps and are softer than luggage)
• Suitcase
• Re-useable bags (like the kind you can get from the grocery store)
• Toy bags from kink-friendly companies made and sold to hold your kinky toys

Basically, pick the bag, box, tote, case, or whatever that’s easiest for you to carry, drag, push, pull, or otherwise move and that best fits your gear. Bags and other carriers with side pockets are especially useful because they can hold small accessories or gear. My collar and cuffs live in one side pocket of the duffel bag and the Whartenburg wheel lives in another.

John Brownstone uses small duffel bags for his rope collection, and a large duffel bag for our floggers, paddles, canes, etc. He likes this style because the strap can be carried on his (or my) shoulder. A friend of ours uses upright carry-on luggage because she can wheel it from place to place without picking it up.

Pro tips: When you pack floggers or any toy with strands, roll them in a towel to keep the strands from knotting in transport. You can roll up multiple floggers in one large towel creating more space in your bag or tote. When transporting rope, tie it in a daisy chain or some other tidy knot or wrap so it doesn’t get tangled in your bag.

Okay, so let’s get into what should be in your bag.

Favorite BDSM Toys

If you’re packing your toy bag to take with you for a kink event (dungeon, party, etc), pack whatever you love and use the most. This is, likely, something you’re very comfortable using, know well, and will feel confident wielding while others watch. For new kinksters, you might not have a favorite you feel confident using yet. That’s okay. Practice at home, and if you do play in public, go slowly or skip playing if the moment doesn’t feel right.

I can’t tell you to pack paddles, whips, canes, rope, bondage tape, or anything else. It’s all about what you enjoy playing with. The stuff you have the most fun with at home will often be the easiest to use in public.

Safety Gear

Rope lovers keep safety knives or scissors on them at all times. Impact play lovers might have a soothing lotion or first aid kit (in case of unintentional broken skin). People into needle play need something to keep their sharp objects as clean as possible — and something to cover the tips. Wax play folks may have something to help with minor burns.

Whatever safety gear goes with the kinky toy you’re using needs to be included. While many kink spaces will have some first aid or safety tools around, don’t rely on that. It’s your responsibility to keep yourself and/or your partner safe. If you’re negotiating play with someone who brought their own gear, ask what they brought to help you stay safe, too.

Pro tip: If you don’t know what could go wrong in a scene yet or what safety gear might be needed, educate yourself before you play in public. Something as simple as a bare-handed spanking doesn’t require much, so you might be fine. But tying your partner up or potentially drawing blood does. Know before you go.

Something You Want to Learn More About

This is a wildcard edition to your BDSM toy bag because it depends on why you’ve packed a bag. If you’re headed to a BDSM dungeon where socializing, learning from each other, and demos are part of the culture, bring something you own but don’t feel confident playing with yet.

Why? Because chances are someone in the club or party will know about it and can help you. I’ve often seen impromptu lessons or demos after one person says, “Let me show you this cool thing I got!” followed by, “But I’m not quite sure what to do with it yet.”

The BDSM community is meant to be one of sharing and learning. In many positive kink spaces, you can find someone willing to teach you what they know. Don’t assume anyone will, but make sure you’re prepared if the opportunity comes up.

Kink Clothes

You may have specific clothing you want to wear for this particular scene or something you always wear. But the rules for the party might be “wear vanilla street clothes to the door.” For some of us this means we have to wear it under our regular clothes or bring it with us. Your bag can be the perfect place for this — depending on the nature of your clothing.

BDSM dungeons often have a changing area separate from the bathroom, but if not, the bathroom is always a good option. At a private play party, ask where you can change before barging into an unknown room.

Aftercare Supplies

The need for aftercare supplies depends on a few things:

• Is aftercare something you provide/want after a scene?
• Are you playing with a regular long-term (or even newer) partner — and know their aftercare needs?
• Are you a bottom or sub who negotiates play in BDSM spaces and wants to make sure you get the aftercare that works best for you?
• Do you like to be prepared even if none of the above really apply to you?

What you pack depends on the situation, the partner, the type of play, what everyone needs, and MUCH more. It might be a blanket or a pillow. It could be earbuds so you or your partner can listen to music that calms you down. Maybe you pack a favorite snack and a bottle of water. Whatever it is, put it in your bag when you pack it.

Unpacking Your BDSM Toy Bag

When you get home from the party, the trip, or anytime after you use what’s in your bag, clean it out. For those who only use their toy bag at parties or for travel, put your kinky gear away as soon as you can when you get home. If anything is dirty, sweaty, or touched genitals or orifices with fluids, clean those things immediately. Get rid of anything that’s broken, too worn to be safe, or exhibiting other issues that make it not safe to use.

Our bag stays packed, and yours might, too. John Brownstone will still go through it (a day or two after the event). He’s making sure everything is organized and where it’s supposed to be. He’s also dealing with any gear duds, problems, or damage. Because let’s face, sometimes after an intense scene when the club is busy, you might just throw everything into your bag to free up the space for someone else to play. Or because aftercare was more important than kinky toy organization.

When you’re ready to pack your BDSM toy bag for the first time, hopefully this will help. For anyone who’s got their toy system, what do you pack your toys in and what do you always include in your toy bag? Comment below and lets all learn from each other!