Managing Expectations in D/s

by Kayla Lords · Published April 26, 2019 · Updated April 1, 2021

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:22:38 — 53.6MB)

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A conversation with John Brownstone to help manage our expectations of the upcoming sale of our home led to this idea. It’s easy to have a picture in your mind of what you want to happen (in D/s or the rest of your life) or what you think might happen. But nothing is ever a guarantee, and its best to manage your expectations so that you’re not disappointed when your best-case scenario (or the D/s fantasy in your head) doesn’t work out.

In this episode:

The Butters is our sponsor!
Managing expectations within your D/s relationship is about communication
Optimistic people may have to temper their hopes
Cynical or pessimistic people may be pleasantly surprised
We all have expectations of what might happen — in a BDSM scene, in an upcoming LDR visit, when planning something new, and simply within how our relationship will work. But sometimes those expectations aren’t grounded in reality.
Expectations will need to change as you learn new information and gain experience.
We hope for the best and plan for the worst.
Yes, you can still be surprised (good and bad) when trying to manage your expectations, but it also helps alleviate unpleasant surprises.