Assumptions and Communication in D/s Relationships LB143

by Kayla Lords · Published August 24, 2018 · Updated February 10, 2019

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This week’s topic isn’t exactly new, but we received enough messages with a common theme that we decided to talk about it again. It’s normal to make assumptions in life — even in D/s. What we need to do more often is challenge those assumptions. In our relationships, it’s often a communication issue. But in the BDSM lifestyle, it’s usually about what we consider “typical” even though there’s no such thing.

In this episode:

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You know what you get when you assume.
Most of the questions we get from people are based on assumptions they’re making — how their partner feels, how they think they should feel, or what they think is supposed to happen.
Never assume. Always ask.
Even after years together, you can still be wrong about what the other person wants, thinks, or needs.
When you find yourself thinking, “I’m sure they think/feel…” stop and talk to your partner.
The assumptions we make about what D/s is supposed to be like are just as bad. Sometimes those assumptions lead us down a path that’s not right for us.
There is no single right way for anything. There’s only what’s right for you and your relationship right now.