When the Submissive Leads the Transition from Vanilla to D/s LB096

11 Responses

  1. SantaJoe says:

    Interesting point of view.

    I am still trying to learn to be a Dominant and be respectful to a willing submissive to make the relationship fulfilling for us as a couple.

    My last relationship I was involved in for twenty years began in a manner that I thought D/s would develop but my submissive decided she did not want to be submissive because she felt it was demeaning and that it made her a doormat.
    I was at a loss to change her point of view and I continued my interest in D/s without involving her. This led to the demise of our marriage. I did not attempt to Dominate others but talked with submissives about what I would enjoy hoping to find a doorway to entice my wife into being my submissive.
    These conversations upset my wife and over time deteriorated her trust in me. We are now going through divorce.
    I do not want to repeat the same mistakes.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I am so sorry that happened. Relationships have definitely ended over an incompatibility with kink. Good luck in the divorce process (sometimes it’s not pretty) and I hope you’re able to find a relationship that works for you at some point in the future.

    • Pixie says:

      I’m so sorry that your last relationship went wrong and you did not get what you needed from it. But I would just say if someone is not into it , no mater how or what you do to try change their mind or out look , its not going to happen. They cant make themselves like or enjoy it, even if they love you with their whole heart. I hope you find what you are looking for this time around 🙂

  2. Nomad says:

    This post is spot on! I am a new Dominant and I will have to share this with my sub because we are struggling with figuring things out. I’m pretty sure that it’s mostly communication.

  3. herwolf says:

    I’d say this isn’t just an issue for new dominants. Even clicking with a sub that is outside the “norm” this is all very good advice.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      That’s good to know. I’m not always sure how much of the “newbie” info still holds true once you gain some experience. But it makes sense because every relationship is different. 🙂

  4. Pixie says:

    Hmmm this was really interesting listening! As always well thought out and presented with care and feeling!

    I kind of lead my ex to D/s in the fact I went to fetish clubs, learned about it, figured out I’m sub, took him and he wanted to be a Dom. It was not a good relationship and ended badly. (To say the least) . But i have seen first hand how a sub can take a new person to the life style and how they can grow in to each other and learn together! It’s beautiful to watch!

    Pixie X

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thank you, Pixie! And when in a healthy relationship, I agree, a submissive can lead a relationship into something wonderful and beautiful. 🙂

  5. Kinky Kat says:

    Kinkdar! ????????

  1. August 20, 2021

    […] When the Submissive Leads the Transition from Vanilla to D/s (episode 96) […]

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