6 Things That Aren’t Topping from the Bottom

6 Responses

  1. pandakitten says:

    While I get the idea of topping from the bottom, it seems like any time I’ve actually seen someone use it as an accusation or an insult it becomes a tool to make a submissive feel like they aren’t supposed to have wants, feelings, or needs. As in everything, communication is the key anyway. If someone were topping from the bottom, or expressing their desires in a way their dominant found to be too demanding or dominating, that’s still a conversation between them and their Dom, not a cue to not communicate at all.
    Maybe I’m just discovering I hate this phrase because I think people use it to put others down and try to keep them from communicating, and rarely for any sort of productive commentary. Not to mention which based on the negotiated relationship, what might be perfectly acceptable in mine as defined could be understood as topping from the bottom based on someone else’s D/s.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      The phrase by itself is definitely a loaded one, and I agree, it’s been weaponized and used as a cudgel against people. I can see how it occurs legitimately but even then, like you said, it’s a sign that MORE communication is needed, not less. I think the people who truly “top from the bottom” probably do it from a place of fear, insecurity, worry, and uncertainty and less out of manipulation (which is how it’s been branded for so long). And yet, the cure is ALWAYS communication first, action second.

  2. CurveyCat says:

    Love this !!!! I HATE …, the phrase …. I see is almost always Jumped on as a sub, bottom … Is doing something wrong ! In trouble , not worthy, not trained ….Woof !

    Great post ! Post it again ! my share … no one is a mind reader , if you don’t communicate with each other you’re basically both flying blind! I don’t think you will continue to fly you won’t be able to get off the ground, and you will crash and burn. Total ful respectful communication, always changing as your dynamics your relationship and your life and the world around you changes will allow you to soar to the moon!

    Live DsM Happily Ever after,

  1. July 12, 2017

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