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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

A Few of Our Favorite Sex Toys LB017

A Few of Our Favorite Sex Toys LB017

Late for Hanukkah and almost too late for Christmas, Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses favorite toys for sexy, kinky fun that make great gifts to surprise your partner with – no...

episode 16 of Loving BDSM podcast discusses making the switch from vanilla to D/s

Making the Switch from Vanilla to D/s LB016

This week’s episode is hosted by Kayla Lords and shares advice with listeners on how to go about making the switch from a strictly vanilla relationship to D/s. A listener asked for a step-by-step...

What Negotiations Can Sound Like LB014

What Negotiations Can Sound Like LB014

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together for episode 14 and doing something a little different. In an unscripted episode, listeners can hear what negotiating changes can sound like in one D/s couple. They’ve...

Financial Control In Our D/s Relationship LB013

Financial Control In Our D/s Relationship LB013

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the kind of financial control practiced in her D/s relationship with John Brownstone. The decision to give up or take financial control in any relationship isn’t...

Staying Safe While Getting Kinky LB012

Staying Safe While Getting Kinky LB012

In episode 12, Kayla Lords touches on one of the most important topics in the D/s and BDSM lifestyle – safety. From alcohol to safewords, she explains her views on what it means to...

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