About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Sex and Kink in a D/s Relationship LB010

Sex and Kink in a D/s Relationship LB010

John Brownstone and Kayla Lords are together again. This week the topic is sex and kinky fuckery in a D/s relationship. The episode is a question and answer format with plenty of talk about...

Tasks in a D/s Relationship – LB007

Tasks in a D/s Relationship – LB007

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode, and it’s her longest solo show to date. She spends nearly 20 minutes discussing her tasks as a submissive in a D/s relationship. While there are no “correct”...

LB005: Submissives Ask if Communication Issues are OK

LB005: Submissives Ask if Communication Issues are OK

This week’s episode, hosted by Kayla Lords, addresses some common questions she receives from submissives about communication with their Dominants. Basically, submissives want to know if certain behaviors are normal or okay. Kayla’s answer?...