Submissives Using Signals to Communicate Desire

by Kayla Lords · Published September 30, 2026 · Updated September 28, 2026

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I have no idea how to title this week’s episode, lol. But it’s a thing we kind of talked about in last week’s Reddit episode and a thing that we do in our power exchange. For years, we’ve often been at different levels of desire, energy, and capacity and it limited our fuckery. Recently, I (Kayla) have been using specific signs and cues to let JB know I’m down for whatever his sadistic Dominant heart desires.

And I think it’s a form of communication worth exploring if power exchange if you have similar experiences that limited your kinky fuckery.

In this episode:

This episode is directly inspired from the Reddit post from last week from a Dom who gets frustrated when the submissive “drops the ball” on the play.
What we’re talking about
- Subs who give clear indications or signals that they’re interested in/available for play or power exchange related activities from their Dom
- This is specific to established D/s relationships that have enough of a history with each other that you know the flow of your days and overall life
Why this might be something you do in a D/s relationship
- Sub’s needs change from day to day based on mental or physical health
- Busy lives that don’t allow for predictable play
- Mismatched libidos (for those whose kink is part of their sex life)
- Dom gets busy or lets life get in the way of certain aspects of your kink life/power exchange
- One or both partners may prefer clear indications that you’re in the mood
It may not work for every dynamic
- Discuss and negotiate if this would work for you and what that would look like
What initiation might look like
- Speaking plainly – asking for what you want
- Kneeling or other body positions that you both understand the meaning of
- Sharing kink fantasies
- Using a specific code word or tone of voice
- Initiating small activities and allowing the Dom to go from there
  - I kiss JB’s neck, touch him in very specific ways
Things to consider (which will vary based on your dynamic)
- Does the signal indicate a specific activity?
- Is this a moment for the Dom to take the lead and decide what happens next?
  - If so, subs have to be okay with it not mirroring exactly what you had in mind
  - Limits must always be respected
  - If you want something specific, subs have to communicate clearly